Is that a monkey wrench in your pants?

Here's another PG porn video. Check it out, iz fuunnie. LOL.

James Gunn's PG Porn | | SPIKE.com

The GIRLS WITH GUNS genre

Most fans of 80s HK flicks have a soft spot for the Girls With Guns genre and, well, so do I. xD. I've been a fan of HK cinema for 20 yrs and one of the very first films I watched around 1991 was ANGEL. The film spawned both a handful of sequels and dozens of imitators. Unfortunately, a lot of them were very difficult and/or expensive to get hold of back then so needless to say there's quite a few I've never seen before. Well, until now that is! Now I'm actually tracking down many of these gems and enjoying them heaps. And I'm gonna start reviewing some of them from now on. I know, I know, don't tell me; in order to do this properly I ought to start off with the original ANGEL series but I just couldn't be arsed. It's been reviewed so many times already. Pakistani poster I wanna go straight to the knock-offs and tonight I watched the highly entertaining ANGEL ENFORCERS directed by Godfrey Ho. Unfortunately, it's never been released on DVD but I watched it in the best video version there is; the UK tape from M.I.A. I also own the laserdisc version of the same release but I haven't got my LD player hooked up so for now the ol'e VHS will have to do. It's both letterboxed and has good, proper subtitles. I'll watch it again and get a review done. Hmm, come to think of it, apart from last night's review of Obskuriøst #11 (on the Danish section of this blog) I haven't reviewed anything properly for years (almost). Gee. Anyhoo, I'll give the flick another spin tomorrow and get a review done. Until then, have a look at the English dubbed trailer (and thanks to Spannick for uploading it!). PS: And yes that is the music from HALLOWEEN! LOL.

Is it porn if there's no R 'N' R???

PG PORN: Helpful Bus | Celebrities | SPIKE.com

LMAO. This video is totally funny. Watch it, dude!

If you ever wondered why YouTube was envented; this is why!

LMAO.

When there is no more room in Hell... the machine will walk the Earth

"People are strange"

The quote is from The Doors and doesn't have anything to do with neither eBay nor video tapes - but sometimes people and situations are strange. And one of my readers isn't gonna like this one bit. Haha. About a year ago I fought a deadly battle with another collector of rare films on eBay. The auction was for one of Milto's (in Greece) trashy Filipino war video tapes, HEROES BLOOD (aka The 13th Mission) but altho I placed what to me seemed like a lot of dough I still lost out on the tape. Someone (and I won't mention any names here but he's in Norway, hint hint) won the tape for 120 dollars!! Then months later the same film turned up at another auction, and I won it for $33. o_O And it was the superior Japanese VHS even! How about that! Then skip to a few days ago: A Japanese eBay seller puts the very same film up for auction. And once again it's the superior Japanese tape. I placed 10 bucks on it "just in case". I didn't even keep track of the auction. Well, fuck me drunk if I didn't get an email from eBay today saying I won the damn tape for a whooping 8 dollars and 75 cents!!! It sure is a strange world and eBay is a strange land. Hah!

No more RAMBO

When RAMBO aka Rambo 4 came out Fred Adelman wrote on Critical Condition:

While I generally don't review recent theatrical releases, I'm going to make an exception here because I feel this is an important, nay, essential, viewing experience for fans of action cinema. Quite simply, this is the best 80's action film to be made in the past twenty years and director/co-scripter/star Sylvester Stallone has single-handedly restored my faith in American action cinema. It's not perfect, mind you, but it is the most rousing, bloody, audience-pleasing action flick that I have seen in theaters in many years.

- and I fully agree! Read the rest of the review here. Anyway, for quite some time there's been rumours of a new sequel, RAMBO V. I must admit I wasn't too happy about this new film as, well, just how do you top RAMBO 4!!! Also, the rumours about it being a quieter film didn't sit well with me. Well, no need to worry now; Sly has called off the film! Here's a bit from an interview that was just posted on Empire's website. Interestingly enough he also talks about a director's cut of RAMBO 4 (weird that the original version wasn't a "director's cut" since he directed it himself!?):

Sylvester Stallone:

“I think Rambo’s pretty well done. I don’t think there’ll be any more. I’m about 99% sure,” said Stallone, which comes as something of a surprise. After all, Rambo V was considered to be something of an inevitability after the last movie, the ultra-violent Rambo, made $113 million worldwide in 2008. But The Expendables has made Sly think long and hard about his future; and Rambo doesn’t feature in it.

“I was going to do it,” he said. “I said I’d never talk about this, but with I feel that with Rocky Balboa, that character came complete circle. He went home. But for Rambo to go on another adventure might be, I think, misinterpreted as a mercenary gesture and not necessary. I don’t want that to happen.

“I’m very happy with the last Burmese episode, because I didn’t pull any punches on it,” he continued. “I wanted it to be what civil war really is – rough. You can’t candy coat it, and where do you go from there? So that’s [Rambo V] going to go.”

Stallone’s not done with Rambo completely, though. He told Empire that he’s at work on a director’s cut of Rambo which will restore twelve minutes to the movie, including a surprising outburst of loquaciousness for the mumbling man of action at the movie’s beginning.

“He does a speech at the beginning of the movie to Julie Benz where he lays out why his life has been a complete disappointment and why war is natural and peace is an accident,” added Stallone. “And how he just feels that his life has been a waste. It’s very important to hear that and I didn’t think so at the time. I’m going to go back and put in some stuff.”

Music for Saturdays

This is the only track you should be listening to on a Saturday. Loud. Insane. Put on "repeat". With your windows open. While you yell and shake your fist at people outside. Get off my lawn you damn kids!

Hey gringo, es una pistola violenta multo bene a una... eh, on a Friday!!

This is a very cool trailer. Check it out, paesano.

Onar Films succumb to evil empire

There's now a Facebook fan group for Bill Barounis' Onar Films video label. Obviously, Facebook is aka the dark side and I try and stay clear of the 6 billion pointless fan groups there but head of the group, Fred Anderson of Ninja Dixon, assures me there'll be info and useful stuff on Onar's releases so I'm giving it a chance, LOL. Also it helped he made me admin and promised me 5 yrs of free beer and movies, not to mention dates with his blonde Swedish girlfriends. Or is most of that more paranoid illusions created by evil personalities in my head. Hmmm. I hope not. Haha. You can check it out here.

Also, check out this interview with Bill on the blog Bad Turkish Movies.