The Blonde Fury (HK, 1989)

I watched THE BLONDE FURY (aka Lady Reporter) last night. I've only watched it once before (some twenty years back on German television!). This is Cynthia Rothrock's film and it's such an fun flick overall.

The plot is confused, her hairstyle changes from scene to scene (because there was a long gab in shooting the film) but, uh, it's not like we're not used to confused plots in HK films. Haha. The good, good man John Charles* starts off his review in the HK filography book this way: "Awful comedy relief and insipid dialogue detract severely from..." and gives it 4 stars out of 10 (which in regards to his star system renders the film worthwhile only to fans of the director/actors with low expectations!).

The US distributed version from Tai Seng; same cover but with an added sticker.

I don't agree in reg. to THE BLONDE FURY, like I said it's such a fun movie. It's got violence, the usual kind of batshit crazy insanity we're used to with these films, and it's got Cynthia Rothrock in the middle of her best period film wise. And the film is funny too. Highly recommended (in my book anyway!).

Unfortunately BLONDE FURY is hard to find on DVD. The version I got hold of is the old Deltamac DVD from HK. Tai Seng distributed it in the US (reportedly under the alternative title. Interestingly enough, altho the print used for the HK DVD uses the BLONDE FURY title the alternative title is also added in a subtitle under the real title!?). However, despair not, you can get it on VCD from dddhouse and hopefully Fortune Star will rerelease it on DVD at some stage as well.


*John Charles is a "good, good man" cos he wrote "The Hong Kong Filmography 1977-1997". It's thee best HK film book ever. Even if he doesn't enjoy many of the "batshit crazy" films that I do. xD

The Cinema Snob on Video Violence

Here's an old episode of The Cinema Snob. He was pretty funny back in the day but I think he blew it when he started to post out of character. It was more fun when you thought he actually was like in those videos. Oh well.

Three days of silence...

...well if you don't count the screaming psychos on the stereo or the blasting TV set that is! But anyhow, I've been off-line for three days and it's been a bliss! I'm sure my inbox is full and I've got 3000 PMs on various message boards and FB. It's 7 in the morning and I haven't even been to bed yet so I'm not gonna check anything until tonight. HEY JON!! I GOT A NICE PARCEL IN THE MAIL!!! THANKS!!!!!

And I watched the tough French crime flick 36 Quai des Orfèvres (Olivier Marchal, 2004) on TV last night. Argh, awesome! It was everything new American crime films just aren't! I highly recommend it.

Best rendition of a Ramones track, like, ever!

Check out this cover version of The Ramones' old classic "Judy is a Punk". It's pretty cool!! It's listed as being by the The Sullivan School kindergarten classes and if I may take a wild guess here I'd say they're somewhere in Korea. Thanks to Richard Doyle for posting it on Facebook.


Jackie is a punk
Judy is a runt
They both went down to Berlin, joined the Ice Capades
And oh, I don't know why
Oh, I don't know why
Perhaps they'll die, oh yeah [x4]

Second verse, same as the first
[Repeat first verse]

[Third verse, different from the first]
Jackie is a punk
Judy is a runt
They both went down to Frisco, joined the SLA
And oh, I don't know why
Oh, I don't know why
Perhaps they'll die, oh yeah [x4]


It seems they shortened the "Berlin" line and left out the third verse but, hey, they're in kindergarten. I guess it would have been demanding too much. Maybe they'll learn that one once they reach first grade. LOL.

Best toon ever recorded!!!

One man, one Vreten

I've been wanting an Orgel Vreten lamp ever since I first saw one at a big indoor flee market (where I also found these awesome tapes) but their second hand one looked like it had 10 years worth of nicotine plastered onto it - and in addition to that the seller wanted $50 for it! I told him I'd pay him 25 bucks but the cunt argued a new one would be $100 at the store. Gee whiz, I just got an original lamp and it was exactly the same price as he wanted for his old stinkaroo fucker: 50 bucks!!! Only problem: you can only get them at Ikea and I live 3000 miles from the nearest Ikea shop. Anyhoo, my dad was gonna go there and I asked him to pick one up for me. He said what if someone stepped on it, but still, he got me one (yeah yeah yeah my jokes are crappy, next I'll be doing the "I flew in last night, my god my arms are tired"). So why a Vreten lamp I hear ya cry out. Well, cos it kinda gives ya the impression you're downtown Shanghai 1930 or something. It looks mighty cool and it creates a dim'ish light which means you can have it on while watching a movie and it won't be too bright and when you wanna go get a cold one from the fridge you don't have to switch on the bloody lights which are gonna kill the movie's atmos. Yeah-yeah no need to spell it out, brainiac, why don't I just get mah drinks BEFORE I press "play"! Well, COS I DON'T! ALRIGHT!! Haha. You should get a Vreten too!

Garden of the Dead (USA, 1972)

I came home yesterday after my last official day at the newspaper where I (kinda) work. I'd slept exactly one hour the night before and about three hours the night before that so the world was beginning to seem mighty surreal, I put my head on the pillow for two minutes and felt everything spinning and a headache working its way to the upper cortex, "fuck it" I though, I needta CATCH one piecea celluloid before I hit sleepyland. What did I dig out of the dusty archive? Why GARDEN OF THE DEAD naturally!! It's been sitting there unwatched for a couple of years and I figured the thought of ending the day with FORMALDEHYDE ZOMBIES (as the flipside of the cover promises) would be a SPLENDID way to finish the day (where I'd seen one of the editors getting the boot for being "too individual" gee gosh in mah book that's reason FOR HIRING someone!!!), and with a running time of 58 minutes there was even a chance of my actually making it to the end before dozing off. And I did and WOAH... I mean... man, FORMALDEHYDE ZOMBIES!!!

The plot: Inmates from prison camp are gone on smoking FORMALDEHYDE (!!!) and make a run for it only to crash their truck INTO A CEMETERY!! Shoot-outs with pursuing prison guards, lots of dead prisoners, formaldehyde seeps into the ground AT THE CEMETERY and y'all put two and two together and you've got the rest of the plot. Zombies attack the prison camp and they fight it out. Dead people. Zombies. Deteriorating faces. Awesome top of the crop makeup. I wish all films were like this.

The print from Something Weird Video is directly off a fullscreen 35mm print and look just fine. A little ragged at the edges but would you really want it any other way with these kinda trash-flicks!? The director is John Hayes and he also did GRAVE OF THE VAMPIRE which I watched a few years back on VHS. Must rewatch that one soon. GARDEN is definitely recommended! FORMALDEHYDE ZOMBIES!!!

Wild 50s

Awesome high resolution poster. I haven't seen this flick but I'd love to. :D

Great news... and terrible news!

The bad news first: SensAsian in Malaysia has closed down!!! There's a message on their website! Boo-hoo!!!

And the good news: ThaiCDExpress in Thailand has reopened!!!

Maniac bites dog

Check out this awesome new 10 minute American short film called MANIAC. The film pays tribute to the old Belgian serial killer movie MAN BITES DOG (C'est arrivé près de chez vous) about a serial killer who is followed around by a documentary film crew as he bumps off people. They even shot it in French and black & white like the original film (but not surprisingly the drunk monkeys at IMDb got it wrong and listed the language as English!!!). MANIAC is directed by Shia LaBeouf and stars Scott Mescudi and Chris Palko; These people are apparently well known rap artists but on this here BLOG we're gone on garage-rock, 60s punk, and stuff like the Birthday Party from the 80s so obviously we (royal "we" there!) have no knowledge of that! However, that DON'T MATTER NONE as this short film is by NO means a music video or some such but a grim and very violent horror movie. It's a great short and I highly recommend it.

PS: You might want to watch the film directly on YouTube as the picture on the blog is a tad too small to read the subtitles properly.