Just before last Christmas my mum went into hospital for a minor condition; she needed fluids. Unfortunately, instead of following my dad's instructions that she had never needed any medicine the hospital staff filled her with medicine. ANOTHER PATIENT'S MEDICINE mind you! She almost died. It was the worst Christmas ever! Going into hospital every day for a week and not being able to get into contact with my mum until the (wrong) medicine was out of her system. A conversation we had with a Swedish doctor is engraved in my mind; After a long day of not knowing what was going to happen he told us we might lose her. It wasn't till hours later they found out about their mistake. The cause: Another very ill patient who needed strong medicine who happened to HAVE THE SAME NAME as my mum. In Denmark each individual person has an ID number in order for this not to happen!! Gee, the system sure works, eh.
Anyway, my mum got better and came home, and we got another 6 months with her. And now it's all different. She's gone and nothing will ever be the same. I've never lost anyone close to me before so this is a completely new situation that I have to learn how to handle. And it's not easy let me tell you that! If my mum had been an ordinary mum I would probably have been sad and gloomy. But as it is my mum was the best mum ever. No comparison. Without my mum I would have spent a childhood in some orphanage (yes, I was an unwanted bastard, LOL). My mum took me in. Saved me. And she saved my dad too. He was, well no need to dwell on the past so lets just say we both owe her a tremendous debt.
It's two week later and we're trying to learn how to crawl again. It's not easy but somehow life and the world moves along. At the moment me and my dad are visiting relatives in one of the other Scandinavian countries (where my dad originates from). It's fun to be here, most things in the stores are the same but slightly different, and the locals speak a similar language to Danish (yes, we are in Jylland). My family on my dad's side all live in hillbilly country. Believe it or not but yesterday my aunt talked to me in a serious tone (while explaining some complicated family matter) about cousin "interminglings" buried in the past that we shouldn't talk about!!!!! Reminds me of a piece of dialogue from the old movie GATOR BAIT: "Hey, that's your sister!" :/
Today, I had a pretty good pizza (which was nice) and my grandmother (my dad's mum) fell and broke her hip (or something) (which was terrible) so yes the world does move on, and it's in total disregard to what life brings us of happiness or sadness one way or the other. It all just moves on. Unfortunately, from now on it'll be without my mum.
No, none of this is film stuff but guess what; in contradiction to what a few of you seem to think this is not a film blog. It's a blog about Jack J. I just happen to write a lot about films!
I've already mentioned this as a reply to the post before this one but I'd just like to say thank you again to everyone who made a comment either on this blog, my Filipino blog, or sent emails, text messages, PMs, and phoned. It's all VERY much appreciated!!!!!
Jack J
I'm a little older than you are Jack and both my parents are gone for a long time already. My mam in 1980, she made it 63 only. My old man added 20 years to that and almost reached 83. He passed away in 92. But he had the time of his life while visiting me in '85 and even came to the set of Hellcamp.
ReplyDeleteThese are the best memories I have of my father. We came very close.
He died of old age and I had peace with that, other than my mothers death, she was too young to die.She had to swallow a lot of medicine due to some physical disorder. This medicine caused problems to her heart and other organs. Only years later I learned that she had used wrong medication for a long long time.
That's one of the reasons why I turned my back to these regular doctors and went into non-regular or alternative healing.
The pain after losing a close relative is different to everybody but usualy takes a little over a year to get to a point when you are not thinking about it every day. Then sometimes you might even feel guilty when you all of a sudden realize you had a day without this memory.
I feel what you feel my friend and I wish you and the yours much strenght.
Berto
I'm sorry to hear about your parents, Bert. And thank you for your comments.
ReplyDeleteGee, we live in northern Europe where you don't think shit like wrong medication is the order of the day but apparently it's not a rare occurrence at all! :-/
A whole year?! I can easily imagine that but it still seems like a very long time.
Best
Jack
En trist historie. Jeg ved næsten ikke, hvad jeg skal sige, men jeg frygter den dag, jeg kommer i samme situation.
ReplyDeleteDet værste er næsten, at livet og verden fortsætter, som om intet var hændt.
Vh Henrik
Hi Henrik,
ReplyDeleteJa, det er en ubeskrivelig situation, og du har helt ret. Det er næsten som noget, man kunne forvente som fortællertekst til en gammel Twilight Zone eller The Outer Limits-episode; Verden bevæger sig kynisk videre helt ligegyldig over for dit personlige held eller uheld.
Tak i øvrigt for dit indlæg, Henrik.
ReplyDeleteHej Jack, godt at høre, at du er ved at komme lidt op igen. Det er tungt at miste en forældre. Sorg og tristhed kommer efterhånden på afstand, men der bliver ved med at være det der tomrum, hvor noget som altid har været ikke længere er. Det bliver ved med at føles underligt.
ReplyDeleteVenlig hilsen (en anden) Henrik
Well, ligegyldigt hvilken Henrik, du er, så tak for dit indlæg! Og ja, du har desværre nok ret; der vil altid være et tomrum. Men så på den anden side, ville jeg ikke ønske at fylde det ud.
ReplyDeleteJeg tog en uge til Jylland for at komme lidt væk fra det hele, og kom tilbage i dag og mødtes kort med, æh, en af min mors døtre, som ikke er min søster, men tante (yes, very confusing), og hun fortalte om, hvordan hun tidligere på dagen havde siddet på WC og bare begyndt at tude. Bert skrev i første indlæg, at det ville tage et år, før der er en dag, hvor man ikke tænker på det, og det kan meget vel passe.
best
Jack
NB: Hvem er alle disse henrik'er!? :-O
Vi er vist to forskellige Henrik'er, men det gør vel ikke noget.
ReplyDeleteJeg må give den anden Henrik ret; det hele kommer efterhånden på afstand ... Men det er min sørgelige erfaring, at tiden ikke læger alle sår.
Vh Henrik
Men jeg håber oprigtigt, du får det bedre hen af vejen.
ReplyDeleteSelv hit-men har følelser. Det blev vi jo belært om i "The Mechanic."
Vh Henrik
Nej, det gør skam ikke noget at I er forskellige Henrik'er. Næste gang jeg skifter navn vil jeg også hedde Henrik.
ReplyDeleteOg tak for din kommentar, jeg håber naturligvis også, at det kommer til at gå bedre hen ad vejen. Og måske er det netop bedst, at tiden ikke (helt) læger alle sår. Hvis den gjorde ville, man jo bare flytte sig videre, som om intet var hændt, og det synes jeg ville være sørgeligt. Tricket er bare ikke at gå ned på det.
Hmm, måske jeg sku' gense "The Mechanic." :-)
Nogle Henrik'er vil være konge, og nogle hit-men er bare, som Bronson i The Mechanic, ensomme.
ReplyDeleteVh Henrik
Hit-men, der ikke er ensomme, er dårlige hit-men. Det hører til jobbet. :D
ReplyDeleteJa, du har nok ret. Som jeg husker filmen, handler jobbet bl.a. om at "stå udenfor det hele," hvilket vor mechanic tilsyneladende ikke kan - men det kan hans iskolde lærling.
ReplyDeleteDet er svært at være hit-man, når man oven i opgaven skal tackle alt lige fra panikangst og massive søvnproblemer til livsfarlige medarbejdere og arbejdsgivere.
Tja, fra filmens verden husker jeg, at både Nikita, León og Black Cat var ret ensomme. :D
ReplyDeleteI virkelighedens verden har jeg selv haft problemer med at sove på det seneste. :-(
Det er heldigvis blevet noget bedre.
Måske har vi noget tilfælles. Jeg lider selv af søvnproblemer og migræne, samt en kærlighed til sære film.
ReplyDeleteMen i virkeligheden handler min (og Kaspers) blog lige så meget om mig, som de film jeg omtaler.
Måske er jeg røget ud på et sidespor her. Det var jo ikke lige det, dit indlæg handlede om.
Jeg vil slutte af med at takke dig for en underholdende blog, som jeg nyder at besøge.
Og ikke et ord mere om hit-men herfra.
Min søvnløshed skyldes udelukkende de sidste tre ugers situation. Normalt er jeg så træt, når jeg endelig går i seng, at jeg nærmest besvimer i søvn. Men migrænen har vi i alt fald til fælles! På et sidespor; nå ja, at afvige fra den planlagte rute er måske ikke altid så tosset endda.
ReplyDeleteTak for dine kommentarer, Henrik.