Thursday, February 25, 2010

When grown men weep like little Japanese school girls

Until yesterday I was certain of two things in life.

If I didn't know anything else at least I knew these two very important facts:

1) The wild Indonesian film 5 DEADLY ANGELS was released long ago on VHS in Holland.

And: 2) There was a rumour 5 DEADLY ANGELS might have had a VHS release in the US long ago.

Needless to say the Dutch tape is more rare than getting laid at a dike slumber party. I have never found a copy! Never! Ever! (but thanks to a nice Cinehound member I have a multo wonderfullo DVD-R copy!).

Yesterday, I found an eBay seller in jolly ol'e Canaduh who had a copy of the legendary American NTSC tape!!! And it came with a mint cover!!! And a "buy now" price!!!

Obviously, after having picked my shocked body up from the floor I clicked the "buy now" button right away. And then I waited for an invoice.

Today I got an eMail from the seller saying he... accidentally... dropped... a... hand-weight... on... the... tape...!!!

(insert shocked smiley here)

Let me just repeat that: the seller dropped a weight on the tape and it smashed!!!

I must admit I was kinda hoping his line would end with something like "but don't worry the hand-weight bounced off the tape and nothing happened. I just thought I'd tell you to better the relationships between our two almost identical countries" but, well, he didn't. :-(

I spent two years looking for this tape and then the only copy I've ever come across gets smashed by a fooking hand-weight!!!!!! Check the headline again for my state of mind.

Arrr, this is so truly, insanely, bizarrely, surreal'y, terrible I keep expecting a log lady to offer me some coffee. Haha. Oh well, C'est la vie as they say in some parts of Canada. If nothing else I asked the seller if I could get the cover and so at least I'll have that to look at while I cry into my cold coffee ("cold" cos I'll be too depressed to make a fresh pot).

Below is the cover scan (courtesy of Peter from Cinehound) from the Dutch VHS.


  1. This seller might be fucking with you Jack! I suspect that some other person saw it and made him a higher bid, and the seller just comes up with some shit. Ask for a photo of it!

    Who the hell smashes a VHS with a weight by accident? I smell something shitty! And that's not because I'm drunk and just shit my pants.

  2. I'm not so sure. The seller has been a HK movie collector for many years and he seems sincere. And not least (as I wrote in my post) he IS going to send me the empty cassette!

    If he had sold the tape to someone else it would seem unlikely that the buyer would agree to not getting the cassette.

    But even if he WERE to fake the accident I couldn't be arsed to ask for proof of a smashed tape. Life's too short for shit like that and it's all just gonna give you an ulcer.

    Now, why don't you go and change your pants.

  3. I agree with Patrick, I've had sellers come up with weird excuses for canceling and refunding purchases before. The wildest one was when a guy with a copy of The Gate DVD (when it was really rare) told my his dog pissed on it.

  4. Haha, uhh.

    I'm sure Patrick could be right and it may very well turn out he is. let's wait and see if I get the empty case. It would be really weird IF I got the case and they guy STILL sold the tape itself to someone else.

  5. I received the empty case today! So I don't suspect foul play here as I wouldn't have receive the case if the tape had been sold to someone else. The sad thing is the case is in near mint condition. It would've been less depressing if the case had been fucked up too. Boo-hoo.