Sunday, August 22, 2010

When Robert Redford comes to you in your dreams

I woke up and wrote down one of my messed up dreams again. I choose not to regard them as anything but fragments of a mutated insane brain. Otherwise I'd probably believe the back of my mind is trying to tell me I'm gay ["Not that there's anything wrong with being gay", Seinfeld] (the last dream I remembered was about Fred Anderson and now Robert Redford for Christ's sakes!). Damn brain, I thought we had an agreement!

I found myself on a connecting street close to the neighbourhood where I grew up. There was a shopping cart (which later changed into a fridge) half blocking the road so I put it into a big fridge (which changed into a big wooden cupboard). The maintenance guy came by and it was his job to do this but since he hadn't done it I got impatient and moved the trolley. I discovered I had my dick hanging out my pants and didn't want him to see it so I walked away from him slowly towards my little backpack. I got my schlong tugged in, got my backpack, and started walking towards a big hill which is located close to that road. However, in my dream it was much bigger and had a hotel on top. I wanted to go there cos I knew it was owned by my friend Robert Redford. I got to the asphalt padded yard in front of the main entrance. A couple of girls were sitting next to a table a bit of way away and I dragged my backpack, which had now changed into a plastic bag, on the ground to show them I REALLY didn't care. I got in thru the door and went into a lift to go to the top floor. The inside of the lift looked weird, the staff had tried to make it safer by applying odd paddings to it. I got to the top floor and I walked out and the same did a group of other people from the lift. They hadn't been there when the lift went up. There was a party going but being my cool self I didn't want to rush ahead like the dorks in the group. And besides, I wasn't wearing a suit like they were (not that I ever wore a suit) so I waited for a moment. A mid-aged rich woman asked me if I wanted to come around for sex at an agreed time. I said "Yes, write down the time" and gave her a pen. The paper was in my plastic bag which for some reason was now on top of a bookshelf. Being a rich woman she didn't know how to reach for the paper so she looked around for a servant. I reached up, gave her the paper but then I saw my friend Robert Redford. He was sort of keeping to himself and leaning towards a wall. I went over and we talked briefly, he knew I wasn't one of the rest of these people, vultures who were just interested in his fame. The mid-aged woman who wanted to fuck me came over, she had now changed into a pretty young girl and she looked shaggable but when Redford begun to speak to me again I thought "fuck it" (because I'd probably get another chance with her later) and turned my back to her. Then Redford said "Have you done your Cleese?" To which I replied "No, not yet". I knew what he was referring to and at this stage I remembered I'd dreamt about this before. Maybe weeks ago or maybe even months had passed in between but in a previous dream I'd been at this place before where I'd played a hiding game with Robert Redford. A dream in which I'd done John Cleese's famous long-legged "walk" (the one you see in the "Faulty Towers" episode about the Germans where he imitates the Nazi walk). So we started the game again, Redford hid in a small cupboard and I simply went for the lift again. The pretty girl was confused and went to his hiding place, opened the door and asked if he'd seen me. He yelled "Jack, have you done the 'walk'" So I stuck my head out and yelled "No", pressed the button on the wall, the elevator began going down again... and I woke up.

At some stage in the dream I'd heard a loud noise and now I discovered that a pile of video tapes close to my bed had fallen over (and crushed some of the little people who I suspect live on my floor).

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