Monday, February 15, 2010
Unknown blog writer scarred for life in beetle attack
So I'm watching a couple of episodes of COPS on the telly. Nice and cozy, ay. I've got my coffee and while four or five of LA's finest are sitting on some Mexican guy's head I'm working my way thru a box of dates I've saved from Christmas. Actually, that's not completely true as they wouldn't have lasted until now if they were from Xmas as I have a sweet tooth for dates. Ever since I was a kid. Every year I stock up on dates. Anyway, this year's supply was already gone when I found the last remaining stock at a local Aldi market. Why did they still have some when every other store doesn't you ask? Beats me. Maybe they'd fallen behind some boxes or the nice Turkish Aldi chicks had used them for door stops. Who knows. Anyhoo, so I'm sitting there going thru the box. The cops are having fun. "Are you using the stun-gun on him? Is he getting it?". "Yeah he is cos I'm holding him and I'm getting it too!" And, well, I think we've established by now that I'm working my way thru the box, ay. And then I look down... and stare into wild and crazy eyes of an unknown but probably very nasty and definitely UUUGLY muther of a beetle! Yes, that's what I said: A BEETLE!!! A live one. A very highly alive and moving one!!! Probably full of nasty contagious diseases too. Do beetles carry the Ebola virus? PROBABLY!!! Do beetles from date packages crawl into people's ears when they're asleep and eat chunks off their brains little by little? MOST LIKELY!!! Jesus Christ, I'm never gonna look at a pack of dates in the same casually relaxed I'm-just-gonna-stuff-mah-face-with-dis-yummy-stuff-without-looking-at-it way anymore, that's for sure. Brrrr. Nasty.
The photo may or may not be an actual photo from the scene that occurred.