Monday, May 16, 2011


There's one point in Anders Østergaard's documentary film TROLLKARLEN about the Swedish jazz musician Jan Johansson in which one of Johansson's friends talks about a dream he had after Jan died; In the dream he had just stepped out of a tube train in the Stockholm underground when he saw his friend at a distance, he followed him and when he finally caught up he asked: "Jan, where have you been? We thought you passed away" to which Jan coyly responded that he'd been away to help set up a music piece in Russia. Then the friend woke up and in the documentary movie you can see how his face changes when he continues "...but then everything was of course back to normal". It's weird how the mind works. A couple of nights ago I dreamt I was talking to some people and one of them turned to me and said: "She is dead" and pointed to a woman. I woke up and thought to myself: "That person didn't die, she doesn't even exist". Then I realised the person who made that comment to me was actually my mum who passed away in real life. We may get further away but it never really gets good.

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