"...there's a blacksmith who knows a little about medicine..."

VHS/UK/fullscreen/English dub/no subs
(click scan for bigger size)

This afternoon I watched LION MAN (aka Kiliç Aslan) and it's without a doubt one of the most entertaining Cüneyt Arkin films I've seen! This really needs a DVD release that's for damn sure!! LOL. Oh, and don't get fooled by this "Steve" Arkin, haha. It is indeed good ol' Cüneyt Arkin. Actually, the last of his movies I watched, KARA MURAT SEYH GAFFAR'A KARSI (aka Der Rächer des Khan) had him credited as yet something else, "George" Arkin I think, haha.

The version I got hold of is an NTSC video tape that was released in the US back in 1983 - so obviously it's totally obscure and difficult to get hold of these days. But try and see if you can get a copy somewhere, it's totally worth it. The tape is dubbed into English and fullscreen. LION MAN was also released in Canada and the UK but needless to say those tapes are just as difficult to find.

The plot is like this; We're back in the days of the Byzantine Empire. The proud Turks have been overrun by nasty and cruel Christian crusaders. Yes, that's right! In this film the Christians (which are easily recognised by their big crosses on their chests) are bloodthirsty savages and the proud Turks are the heroes.

VHS/US/fullscreen/English dub/no subs

When you're someone who's born and raised on bloody Hollywood movies this is quite different. But never the less very entertaining and makes perfectly sense in my book. Just like you always root for the Chinese hero against the nasty Gwailos in a HK movie no matter how white you are. LOL.

Anyhoo, the Turkish emperor is killed by slimy Europeans (probably French people, or ze Englisch) but somehow his wife escapes and isn't killed until their son is stolen by a lion! (I didn't know they actually had lions in Turkey, lol, but maybe they did in the old days).

Anyway, much confusion later and the introduction of a dark-haired fair maiden (the same babatious chick who's name escapes me but who was also in THE BOY WHO KNEW TOO MUCH aka LITTLE EYEWITNES), and eventually the lion-boy becomes a mix of Robin Hood/Tarzan/Barry Prima (haha).

VHS/France/fullscreen/French dub
(click scan for proper size)

This is really entertaining cinema if I ever say any. Totally! And the film is quite gory too! The only down-point is the ANNOYING orchestral elevator music score! But I can live with that and I plan on watching this again. You should do the same. Apparently, the dubbed print is slightly different to the Turkish version (don't worry it's not cut) I haven't watched it but reportedly it's nothing serious.

By the way, the Turkish title for LION MAN is indeed Kiliç Aslan. Don't believe this "ASLAN ADAM" that the bloody IMDb will tell you! I have my info from this worlds biggest expert on Turkish cult cinema Ayman Kole (an Australian of Turkish descent).

PS: The headline is a quotation of some of the rad dialogue! I mean you have this scene where Cüneyt Arkin's character is truly and severely fucked up and some guy suggests they go to the blacksmith of the nearest village cos he knows a little about medicine, hahaha.

Thanks to Gokay of Ciko for the UK scan. Much appreciated!

Added French VHS scan (5/8/09): I love how the characters on the front cover look nothing like in the film, LOL. Thanks to Lurker of Cinehound forum for the French scan.

Multo Kewl COFFIN JOE box out now!!!

Woo-hoo, I have waited since 1964 for this!!! The mighty fine video company Anchor Bay has just released an equally fine collection of COFFIN JOE films from their UK branch! Yay!! Spiffy!!!


Obviously I don't need to tell you that Coffin Joe (aka José Mojica Marins aka Zé do Caixão) is Brazil's best... uh, no cross that out... Brazil's WEIRDEST film maker!! And certainly also the most INTERESTING (yeah yeah, he's also the only Brazilian film maker I'm familiar with but still!).

This mighty fine box contains 9 films, out of which one is a documentary;

At Midnight I'll Take Your Soul (1964)
This Night I'll Possess Your Corpse (1967)
The Strange World Of Coffin Joe (1968)
Awakening Of The Beast (1970)
End Of Man (1971)
Strange Hostel Of Naked Pleasures (1976)
Hellish Flesh (1977)
Hallucinations Of A Deranged Mind (1978)
The Strange World Of Mojica Marins (2001)

In addition to the box Anchor Bay has also simultaneously released Coffin Joe's newest film EMBODIMENT OF EVIL (2008) as a 2 disc release. If you read the (multo lame'o) comments from most of the Amazon UK buyers who bought it you'll notice they all hate the film, haha.


Well, I haven't bought it yet but having watched some of Marins' earlier work I can certainly figure out why they dislike it: Coffin Joe simply doesn't follow the same dozen of strict rules that almost every motherfucker in Hollywood does. How dare he make films that challenges the viewer. How dare he make horror films that don't hail NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET or FRIDAY THE 13TH as God's gift to horror movie fans everywhere. How dare he be different.

Do yourself a favour and check out his films and ffs keep and open mind. DON'T BE AN AMAZON CUSTOMER REVIEWER WANKER!!!!!


NB: Don't get me wrong I DO like NIGHTMARE and FRIDAY etc. but I do acknowledge they're not the ONLY way of making horror films.

A carefree film collector life soon to end

More crappy cell phone pictures from the past; This time it's Nils Markvardsen, editor of eXtase magazine, stoner/doom promoter and Denmark's spaghetti western aficionado #1 with a collection to boot!

In this photo Nils is standing in front of his DVD collection which soon will probably get ruined by little people and spat on and God knows what. Yes, Nils is becoming a daddy. Well, congrats Nils (I guess, haha).

AWE off the radar - update

I finally got a text message from AWE head honcho Jan Schmidt yesterday as a response to my inquiry about what's going on with their site, and why it's gone from Cyberspace. Jan replied they're sick of the website and from now on you have to send them an old fashioned letter (remember those ones?) if you wanna get in contact with them. I assume it's a joke.

Still, no website or blog online tho. Nor an answer from Mr. Eriksen. Oh well. Just good to hear they're at least not closing down despite their alternative way of running the company. Haha.


Ps: The bicycle chick has obviously noting to do with this post but is just there to liven up an otherwise dull entry. The piccie is clickable for bigger size too!

More obscure OCEAN SHORES oldies

I finally received two more WAY COOL video releases from the Hong Kong video label Ocean Shores; THE DEVIL AND THE ANGEL (starring Lo Lieh) and FLASH FUTURE KUNG FU (which I saw described online as a Blade Runner'ian kung fun movie set in the future!).



I got the two tapes from different sellers and it's fun how you never know what to expect when you buy something (fairly) blindly. One tape (Devil) was released in 1984 but the guy I bought it from might as well have bought it last week; That's how good it looks! Absolutely near mint condition. The other tape (Flash) was also released in '84 and obviously comes from a rental outlet and it certainly looks like it!



The inner see-thru plastic is cracked and some of it is coming off. The (probably) nicotine filled air in the store has made the same see-thru plastic completely yellow. And the outside box is totally sticky because it's so dirty from (I assume) hundreds or even thousands of hands that have touched it throughout the years. You wanna wash your hands after having touched it, haha. Buy hey, don't get me wrong, I'm really happy to have got both tapes! All the latter needs is a good scrub, LOL.

De Dødes Tjern (1958)

I finally watched Kåre Bergstrøm's excellent Norwegian horror movie DE DØDES TJERN from 1958 and... woh-hoah!! What an awesome horror film!!! This is a classic in Norway but is practically unknown in the rest of Scandinavia. My gawd, they should show stuff like this on Danish TV instead of those retarded reruns they keep force-feeding us with!!

The plot deals with a group of friends who stay in a cabin in the forest near a lake. The photography is great and the atmosphere is so thick you could slice it with a knife. But other than that description I'm not gonna spoil anything for you by revealing any more of the plot. But if you like spooky horror flicks then this is it! When you're a seasoned horror fan it takes quite a bit more to get a fright but... Gott im himmel!... I didn't even wanna go into my kitchen in the dark for more coffee during the film! I don't even remember the last time I watched such a spooky horror movie. Brrr. There are absolutely NO Danish horror movies, new or old, that come even close. It's an OFFENCE this isn't already out on internationally released DVD. And it's a pure crime to humanity that the upcoming DVD is a Norway only release. I just hope that at least it'll have subtitles in Norwegian (the accent was a little heavy in a few places but I understood most of the dialogue).
EDIT: the dvd has English and Norwegian subtitles.

DE DØDES TJERN is based on André Bjerke's book by the same title from 1942. There's a Danish edition from 1943, entitled De Dødes Sø.

Thanks to Dag-Johnny for getting me this on DVDr.


EDIT (28/07/09): When I raved about this film in my usual exaggerating manner over on Uncut.dk someone pointed out that the film NATTEVAGTEN (the original Danish version of NIGHTWATCH) is pretty good too. And I gotta admit; Yes, NATTEVAGTEN is definitely good! Actually, I bought it on UK DVD recently).
EDIT (29/09/09) Alright, alright, Lars von Trier's RIGET TV series is pretty damn good too!

AWE off the radar

Almost a fortnight ago, on July 16., I noticed their web-site had disappeared from the Internet and their blog is gone too!

I wrote AWE main-man Jan Schmidt and asked what the hell is going on but received nothing but an auto message saying his email address doesn't exist. I also sent an email to AWE main-man #2 Kenneth Eriksen and asked the same question (this was 3-4 days ago) but never received a reply at all. Huh?!?! What's going on??? Is AWE closing down, have they gone into bankruptcy or what?

I spoke to someone who had met someone else who had spoken to someone whose name I don't recall but who is working for the two gents and this someone said they were on holiday. :-O I don't get it; if this is really the case I must admit I think it borders on less professionalism than I'd expect. How can you let a big professional business disappear off the radar just because you go on holiday. Besides, when I wrote to Kenneth Erikson I used his www.absurd-online.dk store address but there's absolutely no mention on his web-store front that the shop is closed for the holidays. So how about people who order DVD's???

I'll await the outcome of this with my breath held back in anxious anxiety (yeah right).

PS: The tampon girl has nothing to do with the contents of this post nor is it a comment on that post but I thought I needed something FUN to go with the otherwise dull text. Thanks to Kenneth M for the cutie.

hey free monies for ya

I just won all this money but, really, I have no need for money so it's yours if you want it. Here's the details:

Attn Web/ Internet user!!!

This is to notify you that your e-mail address was entered during the annual Euro Milliones Lottery
selection Draw and have won the sum of 470,000 euros.

Contact below claim officer for immediate process of your claim; Remember to quote
these numbers below for verification by the company.

REF: ESP/WIN/008/02/10/MA
BATCH: EURO/1007/444/606/09

You should include Your Name, Address, Sex, Age, Occupation, Nationality,
Phone numbers and Fax number.

Mr. ANTONIO GUZMAN (Claim Officer)
Email: sicclaimdept@luckymail.com
Tel: 0034634151884

Best regards,
Dr. Maria Jose Muyor.
Euro Milliones Lottery

I wonder if anybody is really that gullible? And I love the fact they don't know the plural form of 'million', haha (not to mention the proper use of full stop in English instead of a comma before thousands. So in reality the email tells you you have won €470, haha).

Kara Murat seyh gaffar'a karsi (1976)

aka The Magic Man / Der Racher Des Khan


I watched the Turkish adventure film KARA MURAT SEYH GAFFAR'A KARSI last night. It stars Cüneyt Arkin as a hero fighting an evil dictator. The film was the last part of an ongoing series that ran between 1972 and '76. The series contains these films:

1. Iki Esir (1971) Turkish/Iranian (Persian) co-production
2. Fatihin fedaisi Kara Murat (1972)
3. Kara Murat denizler hakimi (1977)
4. Kara Murat devler savasiyor (1978)
5. Kara Murat: Fatihin fermani (1973) aka "Karamurat: The Sultan's Warrior" (Mondo Macabro UK TV title)
6. Kara Murat ölüm emri (1974)
7. Kara Murat Kara Sovalyeye Karsi (1975) aka Der Heilige Krieg (German VHS title)
8. Kara Murat seyh gaffar'a karsi (1976) aka Der Racher des Khan (German VHS title)

[this list needs some fine tuning as I think there may be a couple more entries to the series + I need to check the production years]

Mostly you're left in the dark as to what's really going on in Turkish genre films as so few of them are dubbed or subtitled into other languages but fortunately KARA MURAT SEYH GAFFAR'A KARSI has been released on VHS in Germany so for once I could actually follow the plot closely.

Anyway, this isn't a review so suffice to say the film contains lots of action, violence, nudity, and Cüneyt Arkin doing what he does best: ridiculous stunts!! LOL. In one scene Arkin is fighting two crooks. He knocks one of them unconscious but the other one tries to escape on a horse. Arkin picks up the unconscious guy and throws him at the guy on the horse (and hits him even though he was riding away at full speed!!). Haha. Great stuff. In other scenes Arkin flies thru the air as if there's no gravity laws. Very enjoyable! :D

Next up in the world of wild flicks from Turkey at Casa J cinema is LIONMAN (aka Kilic Aslan) which I recently scored on English dubbed NTSC VHS. Yay!

Thanks to Ayman Kole for info about the Kara Murat series. And also thanks to "Joe" for the info on the Turkish/Persian co-production (they are both Turkish Aussies and they both live in Sydney and yet they have never met, haha.).



Re-post from 2009.

Insanlari Seveceksin

Hey, I'm getting THIS tape...



...with THIS wild Cüneyt Arkin film on it: