Lunchmeat #5 out now!

The new issue of LUNCHMEAT, one of the sadly last horor film fanzines, is on the street! I've got the previous 2 issues (I was too bloody slow for #1 and 2, grrr) and they're a good read. Support this mag! If the last few fanzines dissapear who's to say if any new fans are gonna be bothered with putting out new ones at all! :-(

PS: they state in the postage fee section that postage to "the rest of the world" is $5 but I've just ordered it thru eBay and the postage is only $4 ($10 in total).


Sales pitch from the editors:

You read right! Issue # 5 of Lunchmeat is ready to be consumed!

We’ve piled the meat high with LM #5 with in-depth reviews of hard-to-find flicks such as Jennifer, The Jitters, Night Terror, Thou Shalt not Kill… Except, and Black Devil Doll from Hell along with a heaping helping of other blood-encrusted cinematic treats that are sure to stick to your teeth! Also lurking within the pages, we have an interview with Tony Riparetti about his prolific career as a B-movie film composer and his many collaborations with low-budget maestro Albert Pyun.

Painter extraordinaire Keith Batcheller candidly tells about his career hammering out video covers (House of the Long Shadows, The Tomb) for the releasing companies in the 80s. We’re also proud to present an interview with Black Lodge Video out of Memphis, TN: a rental store that’s sure to induce time travel, hurling you into VHS days gone by. Speaking of time travel, we've also dug up a bunch of Horror vinyl for you nostalgia hounds to chew on in what we like to call Tales from the Crate! Dig those groovy sounds!

Wait… There’s more?!... Much more! Rob Hauschild is back with a slimy box of tapes pulled straight from the trash; Heather Drain shows us she knows her shit when it comes to 80s music videos (and the 80s in general) with a review of Vestron Video’s Picture Music, and Putrid gives us his totally amazing one page comic: The Birth of Slithis! And, as always, the Crossword Troll has a challenge for you in the realm of Slasher flicks. Defeat him, and you shall win prizes. That’s right: PRIZES! Fantastic ones! We’re talking VHS tapes and stuff!!

What other video vittles and forgotten treasures await you in our newest issue? Guess you’ll have to grab one…before it grabs you!! Keep those eyelids peeled and glued, kids! Hoooo-haaahhhhh!!!

If you have a subscription already, you rule, and your copy of the new issue is on its way to your mailbox! Get stoked!

All you other voracious videovores can mosey on over here to grab your copy!
LUNCHMEAT # 5!!

The site linked up above is still relatively new, so if you have any trouble with it, please check us out over on eBay. Here's another link for that:
LUNCHMEAT # 5!! on eBay!!

Issue # 4 is still available, but going fast. And we’ve got some shirts now. Shirts that GLOW-IN-THE-DARK!! (available only through eBay at this point!) Limited Quantities were made, so get ‘em while the gettin’s good!!

If all else fails, please forward your PAYPAL payment to LunchmeatVHS@Gmail.com

Here's a price breakdown for all you tapeheads!

Each 'zine is $6!

Shippin' the meat:

US - First zine is $2, $1 each additional

CAN - First zine $3, $1 each additional

MEX - First zine $4, $1 each additional

Rest of the world - First zine $5, $2 each additional

Please be sure to let us know which issues and how many of each you'd like when you send your payment. That's info we need!

If you have any questions about the zine, have a rad video to share or just want to yell at us, contact us at LunchmeatVHS@Gmail.com

Keep on'a watchin, everybody! Hell yeah!

Josh and Ted / LM

NEW Documentary on the guy who made MEN BEHIND THE SUN

[click the poster for bigger scan]

About a year ago I wrote about the 20 minute documentary short film CONVERSATIONS WITH T.F. MOU, directed by Dvdmaniacs member Jules L. Carrozza. Of course, I'm sure you're aware T.F. Mou is the infamous director of MAN/MEN BEHIND THE SUN, BLACK SUN: THE NANKING MASSACRE (Man Behind the Sun 4), LOST SOULS, THE TEENAGER'S NIGHTMARE (from Criminals 5), etc.

The film is available on YouTube (a legit upload as it's by the director). But lo and behold, now Carrozza has done a new documentary about T.F. Mou entitled BLACK SUNSHINE: CONVERSATIONS WITH T.F. MOU. And this time it's a "real" feature film. The trailer certainly looks awesome! There's gonna be a screening in September but needless to say it's not gonna take place in the cold, damp and forsaken outskirts of the world where I'm located. :-(
(if you watched that Motörhead short film I posted yesterday: That's exactly what it's like living here!!!).





But there's really no need for weeping (much) cos Carrozza is putting out the film on DVD already around Christmas. Just like the first film this one is made as an underground film with whatever limited financial means Jules has been able to scrape together and unfortunately this means we won't be seeing a "real" DVD release.

The problem is basically that Celestial won't allow the use of film clips unless you pay them (and apparently pay them WELL). I find it odd that they don't see the commercial potential in getting their films presented in a good documentary about one of the old Shaw Brothers directors. I'm not gonna go into a longer rant about this (cos there's a LOT to rant about in this regard) but Celestial is NOT an easy company to deal with. The mere fact that they won't allow Cantonese audio on some of the reg. 1 DVDs (altho Canto is often the intended dialect) speaks for itself. In short, Carrozza is gonna release the film on dvdr and let it fly under the radar. Well, works for me! (flying under the radar is the ONLY way to fly anyway, if you ask me. LOL). Rather a dvdr than not seeing the film at all or only getting a YouTube upload.

If you'd like to see the old docu go here. And you can read Jules' posts (on Dvdmaniacs) about the film here.

Here's a clip from MEN BEHIND THE SUN but if you're screamish you might wanna pass it by.

MOTÖRHEAD: the lost... legendary... forgotten... "Iron Fist" film!!!

This is the members of Motörhead in the "Iron Fist" intro film from 1982!!!

Another of these Scandinavian Brits (Scandinavia is apparently full of them), Jonathan Douglass, brought this film to my attention the other day (cheers mate!!). It's a film that's been lost for many years but has now re-surfaced on YouTube!

It's a film that Motörhead got made but even so many fans don't even know it exists and, uh, since I'm one of them (the ones who's been in the dark about this film) I can't really tell you much about it. The film only runs for a couple of minutes and it was made to be played as an intro on Motörhead's "Iron Fist" tour in 1982. The idea was that the film would play and the band would come down from the above on a platform and onto the stage. Or something. But soon after the tour started the equipment broke down and they ditched it. Apparently, the band hated it anyway, haha.

I'll include the (whatever little) bit of info that was posted on YouTube. The uploader is someone in Argentina who's got a huge website all about Motörhead bootlegs! And one of the posters claims to be the director of the film. Obviously, I have no way of knowing if it's bollox or what.

NB: The YouTube headline calls the film a "trailer" but to me it looks as if the whole thing is there. I mean as an intro to a gig it wouldn't have run for much longer than a few minutes so I'm sure it's the whole thing we're seeing.

By uploader Metalbomber:

Manager at the time, Douglas Smith, though he would become a film maker, and did this little trailer. Along with other gimmicks, like the band decending from the ceiling of the venue on a mobile stage, this film was to have been shown at the beginning of the gigs on the Iron Fist tour. Theses things took place on the first 1 or 2 gigs, along with a huge Iron Fist opening up, (see Iron Fist video), but then the machinery broke down and the band simply went back to playing the gigs as normal.


By NikMid (the director???)

This is the first ever thing I directed. I think I was about 21 at the time. The dead knights were the road crew and the girl was Kathy who was Motorheads office receptionist. The lights behind the hill were aircraft landing lights and the red smoke were smoke bombs I think and we spent a lot of time praying on the wind!

I've given it five stars but with a bit of re-editing and maybe some less dramatic music I'd give it ten!

Amazing, how'd it end up on here?

...filmed before the 30 yr binge!

Black Sabbath, from a TV programme from France, 1970 (this is from a UK broadcast in the 1980s, though). The rest of the programme contains the legendary Paris concert from the same year.

The picture is unfortunately stretched on YouTube. Obviously, it should be in fullscreen (4:3).

Un Condé (Yves Boisset, France/Italy, 1970)

aka UN CONDÉ / BLOOD ON MY HANDS / L'UOMO VENUTO DA CHICAGO / HÆVN UDEN NÅDE

[click for bigger scan]

I watched UN CONDÉ tonight. The film was released on Danish rental VHS as Hævn Uden Nåde [Revenge Without Mercy] but the tape is uber rare and the cover scan here is unfortunately not mine. :-(

UN CONDÉ is a French/Italian cop movie from 1970, directed by Yves Boisset and I'm afraid I don't know much about French crime flicks. I've seen a few of the Italian polizisco films which draw heavily on the Dirty Harry inspiration. Obviously, I have no idea if their French counterparts do the same but UN CONDÉ certainly plays along the same lines as the Dirty Harry series with one lone cop (Michel Bouquet) set out to clean up the underworld using methods that aren't quite by the book. Let me say this right away: Hævn Uden Nåde is very good and if this is an indicator of the level these French "polizisco" movies are on then... keep 'em coming I say!!

Unfortunately, as with quite a few of the Italian films UN CONDÉ isn't released in an English friendly version. These screen grabs are from a bootleg DVD I bought on eBay. I'm aware there's a DVD out in France and I suspect this fan subbed DVD is off that DVD. Kudos goes to the fan subber who's done a fine job with the English subtitles (no kudos goes to the guy who made the crappy bootleg cover!). UN CONDÉ is definitely highly recommended.
















Thanks to Diabolik for the Danish cover. And yes, that's the one he presented on Danish TV!

Awesome films that time forgot

[click the covers for full size]

Of course, they're not really films that time forgot. In fact everybody remembers them in that alternative universe where they were made. I wish I lived there. Mario Bave making BATMAN!! Wauw. xD.
There's more and you can check them all out here (and check that page's commentary section that contains a few more).

You're talking bollox, Thomas!

Ahh, good ol'e Thomas Weisser is at it again. Anybody remember the messed up info in Thomas Weisser's Asian Trash/Cult Cinema books? Obviously, none of us are perfect but the same bloody (and often obvious!) mistakes got carried along all the way to the latest third volume!!! Uhh, and of course I can't forget the stories my friend Nils Markvardsen told me about how Weisser had reviewed films in his spaghetti western book; films that never got made! Haha. Nils told me Weisser had written reviews based on early synopsis of films that had been planned for filming but which never actually got made!! LMAO.

I've just received the latest newsletter from his Asian Cult Cinema store and in it he writes about Bruno Mattei in order to promote that he's now selling CANNIBAL WORLD (2003). On his store page he claims that the DVD is a "A Japanese release" but funnily enough the DVD cover has the odd title "Cannibal Holocaust 2" plastered all over the Japanese title!

Lissen, Thomas, mate, If you're selling a bootleg just call it a bootleg, alright.

The film's original English title is of course CANNIBAL WORLD and the English language title on the Japanese DVD is "Cannibal Holocaust The Beginning". I believe the Japanese language title (written in Japanese characters) may very well be the same as their title for CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST but it's just adding to the confusing title HELL of alternative titles when Weisser chooses to use a title that was also used for CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST 2: THE CATHERINE MILES STORY.

Also, it's pure baloney when he states CANNIBAL WORLD is a sequel to CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST. No, it isn't. The Japanese sequel number 2 (plus his own fake number 2) doesn't make it an official sequel. If anything it's a REMAKE of Deodato's film.

For the DVD at the Asian Cult Cinema store go here.


From the ACC newsletter by Weisser:

Allow me to switch gears to World Cult Cinema.
I’d like to talk a bit about Bruno Mattei. Here is a filmmaker who worked behind more pseudonyms than any other director in the world. Between 1970 and 2007, he made 54 movies under 21 different names. For most fans of Euro exploitation, he will best be remembered as "Vincent Dawn," an alias he first used for HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD [aka NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES] in 1980.
Cannibal Holocaust 2 Born in 1931, Bruno Mattei grew up in Rome. He began his career as a film editor for his father’s small production house in the late fifties. As he grew more accomplished, Mattei began working with many European directors. By the late '60s, he was recognized as an "editor extraordinaire," responsible for the finishing touches on over 100 different movies. In 1970, he found himself in Spain working on COUNT DRACULA for director Jesus Franco. It was Franco who convinced Mattei to try a hand at film directing. The result was a torrid sex drama called "Armida" (1970).
During his 40 years of filmmaking, Mattei dabbled in every facet of Cult Film. He made Nazi atrocity movies (PRIVATE HOUSE OF THE SS, under the name Jordan B Matthews), nunsploitation (THE OTHER HELL as Stefan Oblowsky), and an array of Spaghetti Westerns, Women-in-Prison actioners, Sex Films, Sword-n-Sandal flicks, Monster Movies and even a Jaws rip-off (called "Cruel Jaws" under the William Snyder moniker).
In the mid-2000s, Bruno Mattei decided to revisit a peculiar Italian cult phenomenon known as the Cannibal Movie (originally popularized by Ruggerio Deodato with his masterpiece CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST, 1979). Mattei directed, wrote and edited the sequel CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST 2 in 2005, released under the Vincent Dawn pseudonym. Sadly, this would be among his final motion pictures.
Bruno Mattei In early 2007, his health began declining rapidly; Bruno Mattei was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Despite warnings from hospital specialists, Mattei decided on an operation to have the tumor removed. After surgery, he fell into a coma and died a few days later on May 21, 2007. He was 75.
Bruno Mattei was a radical filmmaker, responsible for many excursions into exploitation, to be seen and appreciated by all fans of extreme cult cinema. If you have not as yet experienced CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST 2 don’t wait any longer. Click the cover to the right for more information. This was his last film as both editor and director.
It lives. Even in his absence.

The two different covers; on top Thomas Weisser's "Japanese" DVD with fake English title, and below the original Japanese cover. I don't mind buying bootlegs but I get ANNOYED when a seller tells me his American bootleg is a Japanese DVD. .\_/.

La Casa de las Siete Tumbas (Argentina, 1982) - trailer

Thanks to Ingolf for drawing my attention to this. Sadly there's no English friendly release.

Rachel Bloom's video valentine/birthday card

- or: Interview with the girl who did the "Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury" video!



I posted the "Fuck me, Ray Bradbury" video the other day and it seems everybody is curious about the chick singer so I called her on the phone and asked her a few questions about the song.
Alright-alright I found it on another blog but here it is anyway. I'm probably not supposed to post it in full so I've cut some boring parts out. The interview was originally posted on Seattle PI Reader Blogs and you can read the interview in full here (and it contains links which I haven't bothered to copy). Thanks to Seattle PI Reader Blogs for letting me post it here (which I'm sure they would have if I'd asked them).

PS: And interesting to learn that the chick is actually a Ray Bradbury fan and has been so for many years, it's not just for the video.

The Girl Who (NSFW) Loves Ray Bradbury

by stephenjgertz (August 20, 2010)

Last Sunday, August 15, 2010, novelist Ray Bradbury received a very special advance birthday gift in celebration of his 90th birthday on August 22, 2010, that the whole world was invited to share.

Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury, a video valentine/birthday card by Rachel Bloom has since been viewed 441,407 times on YouTube.

Once upon a time the novel stood at the pinnacle of culture and novelists were idolized. That time has, alas, passed, so it's good to see a little old fashioned hero-worship by a very sincere fan who has brought novelist-worship into the 21st century with a video camera, wit, and a wink.

It's a tender testimonial, in the tradition of Judy Garland's love letter in song, You Made Me Love You, to Clark Gable on the occasion of his birthday in 1937 - with sex and grrrl power!

Booktryst reached Ms. Bloom, an aspiring stand-up comic, for comment.

Booktryst: Tell us a little about yourself.

RB: I'm twenty-three, and a student at Tisch School of the Arts at NYU.

How long have you been a Ray Bradbury fan?

I've been a Ray Bradbury since I was about 14.

What's your favorite book by Ray?

The Martian Chronicles, which is also not only my favorite book of his but my favorite book of all.

Do you collect books by Ray?

I do collect his books, especially now, since I had to buy all the books for the music video!

Any other favorite authors?


Other favorite authors I have intensity for...probably no one as dear to my heart, but I'm a huge fan of Philip Roth, Kurt Vonnegut, J.K. Rowling (huuge Harry Potter fanatic) and all comedy books by George Carlin (which were based on his standup). Also, I'm a big fan of Bryan K. Vaughan.

What's your boyfriend's reaction to the video?

My boyfriend, bless his heart, is so proud of me. His name is Dan Gregor, and he's a writer for "How I Met Your Mother," as well as a member of the sketch comedy group ChubbySkinnyKids . The Britney Spears parody-angle to the video was an idea that partially came from him, and he encouraged me to dress accordingly. After all, I'm not showing my boobs/saying dirty things for sluttiness' sake- I'm doing it because it fits in with the comedic intention of the piece. At the end of the day, this song and every other comedy song I will continue to write is a musical comedy sketch.

Was this a project for school?

This was a private venture. I came across this song on an old word document on my comp, and I was like "Oh. I should record this and make a music video." I produced this whole thing pretty much on my own. I think being an only child really helped me with stuff like this.




My budget was the budget that a recent college grad could barely afford.

What is it about Ray that you find so attractive?

First of all, the number one thing I am earnestly attracted to is intelligence. Writers are thus the pinnacle of intelligence. While actors are great and awesome, writers literally create new worlds from scratch. What is sexier than that? Personally, I don't know why every person out there isn't dating a writer.

If you had a chance to meet Ray, what would you say to him?

If I were to meet Ray Bradbury, I would say very earnestly that I am overwhelmed with how well he combines such mind blowingly cool ideas with the realism of how humans deal with these ideas. That's what struck me especially about Martian Chronicles or The Illustrated Man...I found myself as emotionally engaged as I was mentally. If I really met him, I would be nothing but respectful and probably like the 12 year old boy I secretly am inside.

What do you hope Ray's reaction will be?

I just heard through the grapevine that Ray Bradbury saw the video and loved it.

Does this relationship have a future?

We'll see what happens!

I think it safe to presume that rarely, if ever, has a ninety-year old man been the object of a 23-year old coed's literary libido. This may add another ten years to Ray's lifespan. Or shorten it. What a way to go.

10:31AM Update: Rare bookseller James Pepper, a friend of Ray's, reports this morning that "Ray has not seen it yet, but tomorrow the Mayor and the city council are declaring Ray Bradbury week at city hall. Ray is going to be shown the video after that event at his house by my friend John Tarpinian who is accompanying Ray downtown. So hopefully we will know his reaction late tomorrow."

12:48PM Update: It has been reported to me that Ray Bradbury has watched the video twice and liked it.

Houston, we have a throblem!


...and someone on the Internet posted this photo of Ray finally watching the "Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury" video.

When Robert Redford comes to you in your dreams

I woke up and wrote down one of my messed up dreams again. I choose not to regard them as anything but fragments of a mutated insane brain. Otherwise I'd probably believe the back of my mind is trying to tell me I'm gay ["Not that there's anything wrong with being gay", Seinfeld] (the last dream I remembered was about Fred Anderson and now Robert Redford for Christ's sakes!). Damn brain, I thought we had an agreement!

I found myself on a connecting street close to the neighbourhood where I grew up. There was a shopping cart (which later changed into a fridge) half blocking the road so I put it into a big fridge (which changed into a big wooden cupboard). The maintenance guy came by and it was his job to do this but since he hadn't done it I got impatient and moved the trolley. I discovered I had my dick hanging out my pants and didn't want him to see it so I walked away from him slowly towards my little backpack. I got my schlong tugged in, got my backpack, and started walking towards a big hill which is located close to that road. However, in my dream it was much bigger and had a hotel on top. I wanted to go there cos I knew it was owned by my friend Robert Redford. I got to the asphalt padded yard in front of the main entrance. A couple of girls were sitting next to a table a bit of way away and I dragged my backpack, which had now changed into a plastic bag, on the ground to show them I REALLY didn't care. I got in thru the door and went into a lift to go to the top floor. The inside of the lift looked weird, the staff had tried to make it safer by applying odd paddings to it. I got to the top floor and I walked out and the same did a group of other people from the lift. They hadn't been there when the lift went up. There was a party going but being my cool self I didn't want to rush ahead like the dorks in the group. And besides, I wasn't wearing a suit like they were (not that I ever wore a suit) so I waited for a moment. A mid-aged rich woman asked me if I wanted to come around for sex at an agreed time. I said "Yes, write down the time" and gave her a pen. The paper was in my plastic bag which for some reason was now on top of a bookshelf. Being a rich woman she didn't know how to reach for the paper so she looked around for a servant. I reached up, gave her the paper but then I saw my friend Robert Redford. He was sort of keeping to himself and leaning towards a wall. I went over and we talked briefly, he knew I wasn't one of the rest of these people, vultures who were just interested in his fame. The mid-aged woman who wanted to fuck me came over, she had now changed into a pretty young girl and she looked shaggable but when Redford begun to speak to me again I thought "fuck it" (because I'd probably get another chance with her later) and turned my back to her. Then Redford said "Have you done your Cleese?" To which I replied "No, not yet". I knew what he was referring to and at this stage I remembered I'd dreamt about this before. Maybe weeks ago or maybe even months had passed in between but in a previous dream I'd been at this place before where I'd played a hiding game with Robert Redford. A dream in which I'd done John Cleese's famous long-legged "walk" (the one you see in the "Faulty Towers" episode about the Germans where he imitates the Nazi walk). So we started the game again, Redford hid in a small cupboard and I simply went for the lift again. The pretty girl was confused and went to his hiding place, opened the door and asked if he'd seen me. He yelled "Jack, have you done the 'walk'" So I stuck my head out and yelled "No", pressed the button on the wall, the elevator began going down again... and I woke up.

At some stage in the dream I'd heard a loud noise and now I discovered that a pile of video tapes close to my bed had fallen over (and crushed some of the little people who I suspect live on my floor).