Worldweird cinema is a many-splendoured thing... here be TURKISH RAMBO!

Alright, I'm bending old poetic prose here but, hey, with the upcoming release of TURKISH RAMBO ... IT'S IN PLACE!!!



TURKISH RAMBO (original title: Korkusuz, directed by Cetin Inanc) is being released by DarkMaze this month. DarkMaze is a one-man video company in the US run by a guy called Ed. He's also a member over at Cinehound and quite understandably Ed doesn't wanna get hassled by the copyright owners of the "real" RAMBO films so TURKISH RAMBO has been retitled to RAMPAGE (LOL).

Unfortunately, also due to avoiding a hefty lawsuit, Ed has had to change the original soundtrack which again means he won't be able to release the film in its original Turkish with subtitles but has had to dub it into English. Oh well, I'm just happy that we're finally going to see this exciting piece of Turkish celluloid.

Obviously it's not like some of us don't already have TURKISH RAMBO (on boot from Trash-online, check them out they've got heaps of cool stuff!!) but it'll be nice to actually know what the fuck they're saying for a change, haha. Oh, and apparently Ed got hold of a good print.

For a while there it seemed he could only get a video master where the picture had been altered to fake letterbox. He was told by the owners that that was ALL they had! So Ed actually asked at Cinehound if we would rather have a dvd release with fake letterbox or a dvd taken from an old Turkish fullscreen video tape!

Well, luckily the people in Turky managed to dig up a proper print after all!! If this sells well Ed's considering to put out more obscure stuff outta Turkey. Good on ya, Ed! And I for one really look forward to this. I can only urge everyone to get this!



This EXITING dvd release is set to hit the streets at end of April (there's an actual date but I don't remember and I couldn't be arsed to check). It'll be released in two different version whereas the "old video cassette" retro look is purely for those who order thru DarkMaze's website.

Here's the old TURKISH RAMBO bootleg from Trash-online in Greece.


I really also OUGHT to point out that Çetin Inanç, the director of TURKISH RAMBO, is also the popular director behind some other Turkish fan favourites! A number of them belong in that much loved sub genre called remake rip-offs (i.e. remakes of American films remade in faraway exotic lands). The probably most well known of these movies that he did (most well known to fans outside of Turkey anyway) are: TURKISH STAR WARS (aka The Man Who Saves the World/Dünyayi kurtaran adam), DEATH WARRIOR (Ölüm savasçisi), and TURKISH ROCKY (Kara simsek). I haven't watched TURKISH ROCKY but the other two are great and very entertaining!! Check them out if you get the chance.

Hey lemme just force feed ya with some more JUST HEROES!

A wee bit more coverage on JUST HEROES; I found the trailer for the film on YouTube. It's also on the MIA tape and now it's also right here for your enjoyment and pleasure!!



And here's a Cinema flyer I borrowed from Phantom of Pulp's blog (I hope you don't mind, Phantom). It's half past 2 in the morning here so I'm too tired to explain about the flyers again but if you check out the comments for the last couple of posts with HK movies you'll know what it's all about.

The flyer here is from Russell Cinema where JUST HEROES was shown and as you can see it's from 1990. I didn't arrived in Melbourne till '91 so unfortunately I never got to see the film at the cinema (I'm sure it ran again but, uh, so many films!! And besides, I kinda tried to also have a life outside of the cinema, haha). But of the John Woo flicks I do remember going to see were HARD-BOILED and the A BETTER TOMORROW films (several times). The first HK movie I saw in Australia was A BETTER TOMORROW at the 40th Melbourne Film Festival in '91. What a kick off, eh!

(Click the scan for a bigger size)

Phantom of Pulp also wrote a piece on JUST HEROES right here.

John Woo's forgotten bloodshed

Here's about five minutes from the beginning...





























According to "Asian Dvd Guide" there are no English friendly DVD releases of JUST HEROES. This UK VHS from MIA is the best release there is as it features new subtitles (i.e. not the wonkey cinema subs), it's letterboxed, and not least; this is the fully uncut version!! The version that ran in the Hong Kong cinemas was a shorter censored version.

I re-watched this film last night for the first time since the 90s. I wasn't too sure if I wanted to watch it at all as I remembered not liking it in particular back then. Actually, my perception of the film pretty much followed what most of the genre reviewers thought of it back then; JUST HEROES usually received lukewarm reviews saying it was a half-baked masterpiece compared to John Woo's true masterpieces, THE KILLER and his A BETTER TOMORROW series.

However, I must admit I was quite breath-taken last night cos, lo and behold, this film rules!! It turned out to be really good! I think most reviewers back then (including myself) wanted JUST HEROES to be a new THE KILLER or ABT. We all loved Chow Yun Fat as an über cool gunman and that was what was EXPECTED of John Woo: another film with a HERO! A loner. A Death Wish-Exterminator-Man-with-no-name character. But instead John Woo delivered a heroic bloodshed film without one masterful samurai-pistolero in the lead. Instead we got a film with multiple characters. Different layers. John Woo actually makes you have to remember multiple main characters. How dare he!! LOL.

I must admit my perception of JUST HEROES changed for the opposite: this is really good and you ought to check it out. Even if you (like me) saw it a long time ago and didn't care too much for it.

So is it on par with THE KILLER etc.??? Well, is it really necessary that I tell you, eh? Check it out yrself and make up yer own mind, paesano. The UK tape is available from Amazon UK.

CRUEL JAWS on dvd soon!!!

Hey, I've just learnt that Bruno Mattei's CRUEL JAWS (aka Jaws 5: Cruel Jaws) is being released on DVD in Italy on May 21st!!! Wauw, great news for all fans of Mattei's trashy (and crappy) rip-off movies!!

Obviously, a few of us already have this on Japanese video (or bootlegs from that vhs) but now, finally, everyone can get hold of it legit. Well, if you live in Italy or import it that is, LOL. I got this piece of exiting news from Søren Jacobsen's Danish horror movie blog "Skræk og rædsel" and thanks indeed for that update there, Søren! Oh, and not least important: the DVD WILL contain both the Italian and English audio tracks. Woo-hoo!!!

I'm sure this is preaching to the already converted but let me just briefly explain what CRUEL JAWS is (I'm 100% sure this in completely unnecessary, I mean who in their right mind would read this blog if they werent't into trashy movies anyway, haha).



CRUEL JAWS is Bruno Mattei's sequel (remake?) to Spielberg's JAWS. And he did an excellent job of it as CRUEL JAWS is almost just as good as JAWS.
I said CRUEL JAWS is almost as g... hahaha. No, I'm not convincing anyone and why should I. CRUEL JAWS is a piece of crappy, trashy, cheaply made, pure, 300 percent EXPLOITATION.

And the film is a rip-off in all meanings of the word. It's obviously ripping JAWS off, and it's ripping the viewer off for trying to be something it's so clearly not. And not least, it is even fucking ripping off OTHER Italian JAWS rip-off films!!! Hahaha. However, if you're new to all this you may expect me to put down CRUEL JAWS and ridicule it. No way, José! Fuck no. I may laugh WITH my Italian (and Indian, Turkish, Filipino, etc) rip-off and trash films, but I most certainly DON'T laugh AT them! I love them too much to do that. I let crappy online reviews do that. Reviewers who know practically nothing about the movies they review. Or the genres they belong to. Unfortunately the local online review sites are FULL of that kind of reviewers. I keep thinking where the fuck do they come from?? It's like they're fucking breeding, haha. Well, this here blog be the alternative!! LOL.

[VHS/Japan/letterbox/English dub/Japanese subs]

Go and get CRUEL JAWS right away when it comes out! I'm your cult leader and that's a direct order! And get me some lemonade. It's trashy cinema but that's not saying it isn't entertaining... because it is!! 100% No, 200%!!! Is it a good film? No. Not by anybody's standards. But is it entertaining? Does it deliver? HELL YES!! I really do hope this isn't a wild goose or that it'll get cancelled before it hits the streets because this is indeed a film trash film fans (myself included) have waited for a long time.

All hail that video company in Italy! And don't hold your breath while you're waiting for a Reg. 1 release. Read my lips, paesano: It's ain't gonna happen!!! Steven Spielberg had them ban THE LAST SHARK (aka The Last Jaws) forever in the US and there's no chance in Hell CRUEL JAWS is ever gonna come out on legit dvd in the US.


NB: If you look up CRUEL JAWS on various crappy sites (including IMDb) it'll tell you that the film was made for TV. This is SO NOT TRUE! It was made for cinema distribution and was shot on real film! The problem was that when the producers tried to sell it for distribution back in the day nobody wanted to buy it and so it only had a very limited cinema run. I guess it later turned up on late night tv in some areas and as I mentioned earlier it was released on vhs in Japan.

[DVD-R/Greece/bootleg off the Japanese vhs]

Alright, let's add some coolness to this here place...

Centre Stage (1992)

aka CENTER STAGE / ACTRESS
[DVD/mainland China/letterbox/Cantonese & Mandarin/English subs]

I watched this about 15 yrs ago at a cinema in Melbourne's Chinatown and didn't really like it but the image of Maggie Cheung and her great performance as the (real life) tormented actress has stayed with me ever since - so although I initially didn't like the film I guess it must have had something that made it stay so vividly in my mind. And so... now's the time to go back and re-visit. Ordered this DVD yesterday. A mainland China release. Credits at HongkongMovieDataBase.

(An older DVD release with a much better cover imo. Click for bigger size)

Legacy Of Satan

“George, don’t be so obstinate...George, don’t be so obstinate.”

My latest WONDERFUL winning: the rare original US Abacus ntsc vhs! From an unlikely seller: some bookstore! Nobody knew about the auction and I was the only bidder!!!

BLACK MAGIC 2!!!

[Black Magic 2, Hong Kong poster]

Haha, I was gonna tell ya some amazing news but then I remembered my last post and now you're probably thinking I'll try and lure you into a cult of B-L-A-C-K M-A-G-I-C!!! Haha, well no not quite. Hmm, altho... black magic cult... arrr (*Homer Simpson drool*). Hahaha.

[Black Magic/VHS/Germany]

Anyway, the big news is of course that now it's finally official... BLACK MAGIC 2 is finally getting released on DVD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No, it's not an April Fools joke but indeed nothing but the true, honest, untampered with, TRUTH!! BLACK MAGIC 2 is finally being released on DVD which is just about fucking time; I mean, how long is it since the first film came out! Fucking 5 yrs or so!! It's ridiculous. Celestial are ridiculous!!

And not surprisingly it's NOT Celestial (in Hong Kong) who are releasing it but Tokyo Shock in the US. If they do it right and don't screw up the DVD it'll be a blast!

I have already watched Celestial's fully uncut, letterboxed print in Cantonese (thanks to Fred Adelman of Critical Condition) and it's almost like watching a different movie compared to the old dubbed, fullscreen and censored US NTSC tape (aka Revenge Of The Zombies)!!!

[Black Magic, Hong Kong poster]

The new DVD is set for release in July. Oh, and apparently there's no sight of the VCD version of BM2 which Celestial announced for Hong Kong release ages ago. Oh well, I guess that's not so important now, aye.

Anyway, I look forward to this DVD a lot and if you have the slightest interest in dark HK horror movies from the 80s so should you! It is one of the very best. The first film in the series is really good, and the third one (which was retitled Seeding Of A Ghost) is great... but this one is even better!

Btw, incidentally the poster (for the first film) at the bottom of this post is my latest poster purchase! Yes, as a complete coincidence with the news of the upcoming DVD it just popped up at a store in Thailand (on eBay) and I scooped it up right away! Yes, HAPPY DAY!!! LOL.

[Black Magic, Thai poster]

(you can click all the scans in this post for bigger sizes)

I wish I had a cult

You would all follow me. Cater to any of my needs and wishes. Rub my feet and wash my clothes. You would give me your hard-earned bread. Well, not bread as such because obviously you would cook great meals for me (and do the dishes). I wish I had a cult, then I'd be a happy man. I wish I had a dog. Hmmm. I did have a dog... wonder what happened to it. Anyway, gimme a cult. Any cult. Be my disciple, any disciple will do really.

Oh, and incidentally, I won this on eBay today:

[VHS/UK/English language/no subs/pre-cert]


[VHS/Denmark/courtesy of Diabolik, Cinehound forum]

[poster/Thailand]

(click scans for bigger size)

38 yrs down the line

I was driving to night class today with my aunt (we're both doing the same home-page course). One minute before we get there she goes: "Oh, by the way, I'm meeting with your niece Anette when we get there" and I'm, like, "Huh??? I haven't seen her since 197-fucking-1!!", and my aunt is like "Oh, really!?"
Gee man, I so wish you could choose your own family members sometimes!!! Anyway, we met and that was... weird. Anyhoo, how you doin'? Haha.