This is the end, my beautiful friend

Alright, it's been a week since I did a proper post (or semi proper post, or whatever). And I guess I'm just not a very good blogger. In order to do a successful blog you have to post almost every day... and I'm just way too lazy! So, in the words of that ol' Nico track: 'This is the end, my beautiful friend' this is indeed the end. Thanks to everyone who followed my ramblings. I won't delete this, I much prefer the idea of 'En lejemorder ser tilbage' drifting around aimlessly in Cyberspace like an old abandoned Mir space station.
Bye.

"Jo flere broer man brænder, jo mere lugter der af røg"
Jack J, nutidig filosof.

Danish blood, Turkish heart

Today I received even more more Turkish horror flicks on DVD from Bill of Onar Films in la belle Greece. This time I got GEN which Bill describes as a 'Turkish giallo'! He says it's gory too. Woo-hoo. And I got BEYZA'NIN KADINLARI, dead policemen, a serial killer, and what have you (hopefully great fun).
Non-Turkish: Then just before ten pm I went into Block Buster and found some cheap ones: A BITTERSWEET LIFE by Kim Jee-Woon. BON COP BAD COP (aka Good Cop Bad Cop) which I bought due to the simple fact that I've always been fascinated by Canada being this one country with two cultures, English and French, and the film deals with two cops, an English Canadian and a French Canadian. HOUSE OF BLOOD by Ittenbach. I have read zilch about it but the cover promises splatter galore! And lastly THE LOST BATTALION about a battalion that got lost (ha ha) during the Great War. Could be good. But then again it could be a piece o' shit. Oh well, they were all cheap (which doesn't help much since my bank account is in the red... and it's only the bloody 8th of December, argh!!). Oh, and I forgot to buy toilet paper. Bummer.

PS: Yes, the headline is a lame take on Morrissey's 'Irish blood, English heart'.

Being a messy (medial condition, folks!!!)

That's it. I have to tidy up!! I heard this big racket coming from my loungeroom, I went in but couldn't figure out what had fallen down, tipped over, whatever!!! Bummer!!!

CLASH OF THE WARLORDS

Hey hey hey!!! I got hold of the sequel to W (which I mentioned a few days ago). Got it cheap from some eBayer in the UK. And I received my BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER season two box today! It got thru customs without any hassles. And yes, every hardcore gore movie fan out there must despise me now! See if I care, ha ha.

A post in Greek

Nej, jeg lider ikke af sprogforvirring og er skam godt klar over, dette er dansk, men "græsk" på engelsk betyder (udover at være noget med bæsex) jo som bekendt også bare, at noget er uforståeligt, og det må dansk jo siges at være for engelsktalende. Jeg har godt nok hørt det der om, at vi, danskerne, eller rettere danerne, kunne tale med englænderne dengang for tusind år siden. Hvad fidusen så sku' ha været ved det har, jeg så lidt sværer ved at gennemskue: "Dø, dit anglosaksiske svin! Tag mit sværd i din hjerneskal, Ha, ha. Harald, hvor fanden stillede du min mjød! Arrrr!!" Sjovt nok at tænke på, at man på engelsk stadig kalder os "danere" [danes]. Oh well, "de er skøre de englændere", som Obelix ville ha sagt det, hvis han bloggede. I søndags besøgte jeg for første gang Hans-Jørn for en gang videosnak. Hans-Jørn er naturligvis gammel skribent fra Bloody Darlings (og jo, jeg har engang, før jeg lærte ham at kende, klandret ham i mit blad Stay Sick! for noget anmeldelse, og nej, det har han ikke glemt selvom det ligger syv år tilbage i tiden, ha ha). Ikke med videokigning, som den slags ellers gerne blir til, men blot en hyggelig dag og aften mellem inkarnerede samlere. Hmm, også selvom jeg da godt nok kommer til kort over for HJ's samling dér! Holdda helt ferie! Nils (Markvardsen) havde godt nok forlængst fortalt mig om HJ's museum af et videorum, meeen altså... man blir jo alligevel benovet. Det var lidt lissom at være i en kirke, ha ha. Vi kom også ind på Uncuts forum (altså talen kom ind på, ikke at vi loggede os ind på) og allerede i bussen på vej mod HJ's lejlighed nævnte HJ ham den weirdo, der havde haft de der tråde om provinsen og kærlighed i forummet! Ja, jeg var jo godt nok lidt paf! "Laver han sjov" tænkte jeg, "Har han ikke set tråden, hvor jeg smider sløret og afslører, at det er MIG, der er Gynther Meyer (som har lavet de tråde)!" Det var lidt surrealistisk, ha ha. Nå, men vi nåede så til lejligheden og HJ bryggede noget kaffe og så måtte jeg jo spørge: "Hey, du har pis på mig med det der med Gynther Meyer, ikke sandt!?" Hans-Jørn var eet stort spørgsmålstegne, og nej, det var sgu ikke gået op for ham at han i dét øjeblik stod overfor Gynther Meyer i egen person!! Ha ha ha. Det kunne ha været pinligt, men var det ikke, for både HJ og jeg er jo så fuldstændigt laidback, at den slags skider vi bare et stykke. Jeg er da flintrende ligeglad med, hvad folk måtte mene om mine tråde, hvad enten det er mine "normale" tråde skrevet som Jack J eller de mere "vilde" af Gynther Myer. Det sjove (læs: lidt sørgelige) er, at Uncut forum nu faktisk er blevet lidt stille, efter at jeg aflivede Gynther Meyer (og nej, det er ikke mig, der skriver kommentarer under pseudonymet her på siden. Det er... en anden). Gynther Meyer lever iø stadig videre ovre på det engelske forum Asian Dvd Guide, men er knap så aktiv. Hvis jeg var bange for, hvad folk måtte mene om mine tråde eller indlæg, så ville jeg jo nok ikke skrive dem. Hvad rager det mig, om folk fx synes, Gynther Meyers kærlighedstråd var for underlig eller langt ude. Sådan følte jeg nu at skrive og sådan blev det. Indrømmet, at skrive som Gynther Meyer var som at tage en rolle på, ligesom en skuespiller. Det er muligt, at jeg ikke selv ville have skrevet det heeelt på samme måde. Men her passede det, synes jeg. Det skulle ikke være for blævrende naivt eller "uhh, jeg er forelsket" eller sådan noget pinligt noget, ha ha (har jeg forresten fortalt, at der er en ny, sød pige på mit arbejde og jeg overvejer at have to kærester). Nå, men aftenen hos HJ gik over al forventning (ikke at jeg forventede, at det ville gå dårligt, you know wha'ah mean) og vi fik en omgang pizza sammen med HJs kæreste Sanne. Senere skar vi os i armen og blandede blod. Vi sang også forbudte sange fra det Tredie Rige og brændte nogle bøger af. Da HJ og Sanne begyndte at messe sataniske besværgelser blev det dog for meget for mig og jeg skred. Men en helt igennem herlig aften. Vi havde iø også prøvet at få Nils med, men den nidding skulle noget andet. Han burde naturligvis ha aflyst, men det gjorde han så ikke. Det skal blive husket! (ha ha ha). Jeg er jo som beskrevet i en tidligere post blevet fyret fra jobbet. Mine kolleger er vildt oprørte og taler om konspirationer og alt muligt. Jeg er ikke overraskende mit sædvanlige ligeglade jeg. "Hva' fanden rager det mig", ha ha. Om ikke andet får jeg vel tid til at lave et nyt nummer af Stay Sick! nu (som, for de af jer, der ikke lige er filmfreaks, er et undergrundsfanzine om horror- og trashfilm, jeg udgiver). Jeg fik også min SCORPION THUNDERBOLT-video fra Japan i dag! Jibii!! Den er godt nok ikke i letterbox, som jeg havde håbet (sælgeren havde tidligere omtalt den som lbx ifm et andet ex, men havde godt nok ændret det til fullscreen ifm mit ex, men jeg håbede, det ville være en fejl. Det var det så ikke lige. Oh well, man kan ikke få det hele, selvom det ville være meget rart (hence the two girlfriends remark!!). Jeg fik også en DVD fra Thailand (en irsk horrorfilm med titlen ISOLATION med nogle zombie-køer eller sådan noget). Den kostede 1 dollar (een dollar!!) + lidt i porto! Nå, men der var squ sådan noget hvidt pulver på DVD-kassetten. "Kokain" tænkte jeg først, men så slog det mig, at det nok i virkeligheden var miltbrand. En venlig skribent på Uncuts forum foreslog dog, at det nok er flormelis, fordi det jo snart er jul, så det er det sikkert, ha ha. Nå, men glædelig jul (på dansk!).

Profile of a hitman

I updated my profile but I have a feeling nobody ever reads that shit and I blame it on all the other bloggers (yes, that's probably YOU!). Almost nobody writes anything in their profile which I think is completely retarded. I mean who wants to read a blog written by someone you don't know anything about. It makes relating to their writings difficult. Anyway, it's updated. Read and weep.

No one can hear you scream... in Cyberspace

Gee, sometimes when I visit my fave message-boards they're so void of activity that I'm wondering if I'm the only one left in Cyberspace. Has everyone else left? And if so where did they go?

More better tomorrow

If Yesasia.com were a woman I'd marry her right away. Hell, I may go to Hong Kong and marry Yesasia anyway! I've just received my long and very impatiently awaited 145 minutes version of A BETTER TOMORROW III. Yes, I said one hundred and forty-five minutes!! No, I'm not drunk or doing hard drugs. 1-4-5 m-i-n-u-t-e-s!!! The original theatrical print ran 111 minutes. Then there are DVD versions that run 119 minutes. The long Taiwan VHS runs 130 minutes and the mainland Chines print on WA DVD also runs 130 minutes but has a few different scenes. This Taiwan VCD has an additional 15 minutes and thus runs an astounding 145 minutes!!! And yes, I did say VCD (i.e. Video-cd). There's a DVD version of it but for some obscure reason it doesn't contain this longer print (credits were credits are due: I got some of this info from Asian Dvd Guide). I think I'm gonna write a day off and just start off with the cinema print, then continue with the 119 minutes version which I have on Zoke DVD from China, and then finish off with this new VCD, and then do comparisons. It'll probably take up an entire issue of my fanzine. Hmm, should I buy the 130 minute version as well?? Hmm, what to do, what to do, ha ha (and if you, dear reader, isn't a fanatical film freak you're probably going: 'What???', LOL). In the same pack from Yesasia I also got the Filipino film DARNA ANG PAGBABALIK which is the Filipino version of (the DC Comics superhero) Wonder Woman!! Yes, just like they had Superman in Turkey they had Wonder Woman in The Philippines!! Apparently there was a whole series of films. The one I got is the only one (I think) that has been released on DVD in Hong Kong (and thus has English subs). I also got a couple of Cheung Ling (aka Pearl Cheung) flicks. She also starred in the amazing WOLF DEVIL WOMAN and if you haven't seen that... do so as if your life depended on it!. Btw, did you watch my YouTube link from yesterday? If not do so! (yes, I'm being bossy today). It's Nina Hagen's version of Rammstein's 'Seemann' and it rules!

Der beste Seemann war doch ich

It's weird how different versions of a product can turn out so differently! MTV Denmark is just sooo boring but MTV Germany (+ Austria) is actually alright. Unfortunately, Danish MTV is as predictably mainstream as every fucking local radio station in Denmark. For instance, take an overly cool band such as Rammstein; This week German MTV is playing specials and live broadcasts three days in a row! I have never even seen o-n-e Rammstein video on MTV Denmark. And don't give me this: 'But they're German so obviously they're on German tv'. They are fucking famous everywhere! I'm sorry if you're a 13 y.o. Danish MTV viewer who thinks MTV DK is rad, cos I don't! I think it sucks. When Rammstein was playing tonight I switched over and Headbanger's Ball was on MTV DK with some heavy metal ZZ Top lookalike band that had a bunch of prostitutes on stage. Mein Gott, how come so many people think that is cool? Me, I'm sick to death with hores in music videos and this whole notion that paid sex is somehow 'cool'. No, it fucking ain't, asswhipe. And is it really that difficult to make music videos that are slightly more sophisticated, aye? I guess it takes more brains than your usual Headbanger's Ball band has (yes, I'm exaggerating so fucking sue me). It doesn't seem to be a problem to Rammstein though, nor whoever they hire to do their videos, I still have to see a bad Rammstein video! Yes, I know, a grumpy post, ha ha. My leg's getting better so everything is dandy. Oh except I got laid off today which is kinda interesting as that's never happened to me before. Oh well. It's not like I give a rat's ass, it was a crappy job anyway. Crappy pay, crappy work hours, crappy transportation back and forth, and crappy food. In total: Crappy! LOL. And then I haven't even mentioned all the times they tried to get away with not paying me what they owed me. Oh, well. What else is new in the world of Jack J?? Oh, yeah, I'm also so annoyed that I haven't got my stuff from DDDhouse yet. The good people, Johnny and Zse (I'm sure I misspelt that) sent if off three weeks ago but I still haven't received it which is a bummer!! I'm dead certain it's those fuck-faces at customs that are sitting on it. Or are spending time fondling each other's bottoms. Or something.