Thursday, April 16, 2009

My new friend Nataliya. In Russia. Who would like $700. But it's alright cos she says she's gonna pay it back.

Hello friend,
My name is Nataliya and I am writing you this letter from Russia.
I would be very happy if you could reply my letter.
It's really brief!
Write to my email: [deleted]@rambler.ru




I received this e-mail today from a potential new friend, possibly gf. She was so considerate as to enclose a very nice photo of herself. I though: "Finally! The love of my life has finally turned up. Now I can get married, have kids, and enjoy the good life". Haha, yeah right. I'm sure some sad people (guys) are gonna fall for this but obviously it REEKS of scam a mile away. In the words of Mike Muir (of Suicidal Tendencies) from some old interview on Danish television: "I may be ugly but I ain't stoopid".

I did a Google and 31 pages of posts came up; posts from people who had received similar nice & friendly e-mails from "Nataliya". Of course it may not even be the chick in the photos (there were tons of other photos of her on that site for scam e-mails) but some ex-boyfriend who's using old photos. How do these people even get your address?? Anyway, after a couple of emails she would tell the whoever gullible sap she was writing to that she hates living in Russia and if he could lend her 700 dollars for a ticket out. Sad and terrible. And hilarious, haha.

A ray of hope in the dying world of CUT-UP POETS

You thought CUT UP poetry died with whatshisface??!! Well think again. here's KENNETH M and his CUT-UP masterpiece!!! If you don't understand what it's all about then... SORRY BRO!! Oh, and Patrick. Sorry mate but I couldn't help it!!! :-) :-) ;-)


Yesterday I was cruising.
The Danish laughed at me. Which wasn't very nice.

My interest was awakened.
The Danish laughed at me. Which wasn't very nice.

I almost had a stroke.
The Danish laughed at me. Which wasn't very nice.

This started a journey that would make a new man!
The Danish laughed at me. Which wasn't very nice.

My beard grew a little thicker.
The Danish laughed at me. Which wasn't very nice.

My voice got deeper
The Danish laughed at me. Which wasn't very nice.

Oh yes. It's true.
The Danish laughed at me. Which wasn't very nice.

I went and grabbed a beer.
The Danish laughed at me. Which wasn't very nice.

This is overload for my brain.
The Danish laughed at me. Which wasn't very nice.

After 5 more beers down the hatch.
The Danish laughed at me. Which wasn't very nice.

I couldn't believe it!
The Danish laughed at me. Which wasn't very nice.

It was ... it was... unbelievable.
The Danish laughed at me. Which wasn't very nice.

I'll leave the last word to Jack J.
The Danish laughed at me. Which wasn't very nice.