Thursday, February 25, 2010

Eternal Evil of Asia

I belive this is the only time every cought on film that a dickhead, i.e. an asshole, actually turns into... a dickhead. xD

When grown men weep like little Japanese school girls

Until yesterday I was certain of two things in life.

If I didn't know anything else at least I knew these two very important facts:

1) The wild Indonesian film 5 DEADLY ANGELS was released long ago on VHS in Holland.

And: 2) There was a rumour 5 DEADLY ANGELS might have had a VHS release in the US long ago.

Needless to say the Dutch tape is more rare than getting laid at a dike slumber party. I have never found a copy! Never! Ever! (but thanks to a nice Cinehound member I have a multo wonderfullo DVD-R copy!).

Yesterday, I found an eBay seller in jolly ol'e Canaduh who had a copy of the legendary American NTSC tape!!! And it came with a mint cover!!! And a "buy now" price!!!

Obviously, after having picked my shocked body up from the floor I clicked the "buy now" button right away. And then I waited for an invoice.

Today I got an eMail from the seller saying he... accidentally... dropped... a... hand-weight... on... the... tape...!!!

(insert shocked smiley here)

Let me just repeat that: the seller dropped a weight on the tape and it smashed!!!

I must admit I was kinda hoping his line would end with something like "but don't worry the hand-weight bounced off the tape and nothing happened. I just thought I'd tell you to better the relationships between our two almost identical countries" but, well, he didn't. :-(

I spent two years looking for this tape and then the only copy I've ever come across gets smashed by a fooking hand-weight!!!!!! Check the headline again for my state of mind.

Arrr, this is so truly, insanely, bizarrely, surreal'y, terrible I keep expecting a log lady to offer me some coffee. Haha. Oh well, C'est la vie as they say in some parts of Canada. If nothing else I asked the seller if I could get the cover and so at least I'll have that to look at while I cry into my cold coffee ("cold" cos I'll be too depressed to make a fresh pot).

Below is the cover scan (courtesy of Peter from Cinehound) from the Dutch VHS.

ANGEL 2 lobbies. xD

One of my ALL TIME FAVOURITE Hong Kong films is ANGEL 2 which I believe is also one of the very best in the Girls with guns genre. You could also call the genre Girls who kick ass and look cute (coined in an old issue of Asian Trash Cinema). But regardless of terminology... I just bought this uber spiffy lobby card set from Thailand! Arrr... (this is where you imagine yours truly doing a Homer Simpson drool, LOL).

I haven't actually bought any lobby cards before (except big Mexican ones but I'd say they're more like posters) but when I stumbled over this set I just knew I had to have it. And yes, it was... pricey. I really need to get myself a new job soon!!!

Anyway, I've written about the ANGEL series before in regards to my having bought the Japanese video versions. The films star Moon Lee, Yukari Oshima, Elaine Lui, and Alex Fong. There are three entries and #1 and 2 are awesome! No. 3 is more of a spy film and fails in the "shoot 'em up" dep. but is otherwise alright. The series became so uber popular that tons of films were released in Hong Kong in the years that followed, films that all had female heroes and had "Angel" in the title. If you're looking for someone to criticise this blatant ripoff mentality you'll have to look elsewhere as you won't find it here. I love all those films! Unfortunately, many of them are very difficult to find nowadays. A lot of them never came out on DVD and the old video tapes and VCDs are rare by now.

Btw, instead of ANGEL 3 you might wanna try and track down KILLER ANGELS instead as it's a much better film (and tons more violent!!). It also stars Moon Lee and is another fave in this house!!! For years I kept watching an unsubbed VCD from HK until I got hold of an English dubbed boot from the UK.

One of the films that fortunately WAS granted a release on a shiny li'l disc is the first ANGEL which (oddly enough) was released on HK DVD under its international title of Iron Angels. Fortunately, the disc doesn't contain the international, English dubbed version but the original Cantonese film. Unfortunately, ANGEL 2 and 3 are only out on crappy DVDs; #2 in Germany (dubbed and cut to shreds) and #3 on an OOP English dubbed, fullscreen DVD in the US.

The best way to watch ANGEL 2 is on VHS from the UK; MIA put it out on an English dubbed tape fully uncut and fully letterboxed! They also put out a fully lbx'ed tape in Cantonese with new English subs which would have been the ultimate release if it weren't for the fact that the bloody BBFC cut out 18 seconds of fun! Boo-hoo. My Japanese tape is also in Cantonese and fortunately fully uncut but sans the subs. You just can't win can you. :-(

Anyway, here's the trailer for ANGEL 2, do check it out!

[ANGEL aka Iron Angels/Angels/Midnight Angels/Midnite Angels/Fighting Madam/Ultra Force, VHS/Japan/letterbox/English dub/Japanese subs]

[ANGEL 2 aka Iron Angels 2/Angels 2/Ultra Force 2, VHS/Japan/letterbox/Cantonese audio/Japanese subs]

[ANGEL 3 aka Iron Angels 3/Iron Angel 3/Fighting Madam 3/Hong Kong Police Madam 3/Return of Iron Angels/Midnite Angels 3/Ultra Force 3, VHS/Japan/fullscreen/English dub]

What bloody sister!?

[click scan for bigger size]

I bought this film on a whim but I can't for the life of me figure out which film it is. Do any of you know?

The English cover title is BLOOD SISTER but I can't find a film that seems to fit the seller's description. There are several films called BLOOD SISTER and BLOOD SISTERS.

At first I thought something along the lines of the Taiwan films GOLDEN QUEEN'S COMMANDO, PINK FORCE COMMANDO or FANTASY MISSION FORCE but it doesn't seem to be any of those.

Seller's description:
This very rare - NO DVD release - 70s women of vengeance movie stars Chinese hottie Lin Ling who is oout for revenge after her boyfriend is gunned down by some syndicate. Lin Ling is joined by four hell bent for revenge girls (one in knee high cowhide boots!!) In the course of the action you get: female kung fu fighting, stick fighting, gun play, soft core sex, and lotsa bare bottoms and tops. At one point two women are gagged, bound and... you know. But they get revenge on their attackers - one knife into a bloody mess, the other groin stomped and left crippled on the floor.