The world's only remaining old-skool splatter movie mag still alive (kind of)

Recently I've received a couple of emails from people asking if I still have copies of my old splatter/horror/trash movie fanzine Banned in Britain laying around. And yes I sure do, a whole pile collecting dust actually so since I'm not using this blog for anything else at the moment I thought I might as well give the ol' rag a plug.



I started publishing Banned in Britain ('BiB' among friends) way back in 1994. It was inspired by the old UK zine In the Flesh that I use to buy when I lived in London in the late 80s. BiB #1 was reviewed in the final issue of the Danish (almost pro-mag) zine Inferno that came out in '94. This all happened back in the days of type, cut & glue-fanzines. Before the Internet (yes, dear young reader, there was a time, in the longlongago, when man didn't have Internet!) and before those shiny little discs called dvd's were invented (I'm not pulling your leg here, we really didn't have dvd's back in the old century either!). In those early days when all we had was video tapes (also referred to as vhs!!) that was when BiB arose from a tormented earth to ravage amongst men of... alright, I'm rambling (again) but to cut the chase short I put out #1 in 1994, sat around on my arse for ten years and put out #2 in 2004, and #3... well, the world is still awaiting that one (i.e. doesn't give a rat's ass). In 1999 I started publishing another zine called Stay Sick! but that's an entirely different story. BiB is where it all began.

No.1 is long gone but as I said I've got heaps of #2 left. 32 pp filled with my ravings about horror, gore and trash movies. There's also something on Slayer (the legendary thrash metal band, in case you didn't know) and reviews by renowned Danish cartoonist Lars Kramhøft. $4/€3 postpaid anywhere in the world. I take PayPal. Just shoot me an email. And before you ask, no I have no idea when issue no. 3 will be out but since it has recently dawned on me that there are almost no horror movie mags (and certainly no fanzines) left I'm beginning to think it's time to revive this so there'll at least be one old-skool splatter mag around! (NB: obviously I'm talking about REAL magazines printed on good old-fashioned dead wood, i.e. paper, as there's, of course, heaps of stuff in Cyberspace).
Jack

Black Warrior (aka Super Platoon)

Yes yes, I know. I should use this blog to tell you more rad stuff from my exiting life. Ehm, soon. Okay. Here, read another of my awesome reviews, this time for Black Warrior.

Kizil Maske

Yes, I'm being slack blogging. Sorry. Hitmen slack off too. Read my Kizil Maske review!
Jack

Silence in space

Everyone seems so happy I've re-animated my blog, woohoo, great! But, ahm, I've got nothing to say (haha). It seems to be a universal problem at the moment. The forums I usually hang out in are quiet too (Uncut + Cinehound) Oh well, at least spiffy miss V is back on her blog. None of the zines I use to read are running. Neither is Stay Sick! (my own rag) for that matter. And I have a feeling television is crap. Maybe I should just go to bed!

Just hold on

Lissen, anybody who's waiting for me to get back to them, to reply, to send you stuff, to talk to you, whether you're in Pakistan or in Denmark or downtown Berlin; I will get in touch! (and I will speak to those of you who want that as well). Just, gimme five minutes here. Or days. Everything will be sorted out.

...A BILLION YEARS LATER

(or: 'The Return of a Torpedo')

On Saturday a week ago I came home late from the hospital (visiting) and was knackered. So obviously I slugged my newly acquired DVD of Cronenberg's EASTERN PROMISES in the ol' DVD player. As everyone knows (at least on these shores) it stars our big Danish hero Viggo Mortensen as a member of the Russian mob. Skip to a week later. I re-adjust my satellite dish and discover... I can watch Russian tv now! A Russian news broadcaster in English. It's surreal beyond belief. The reporters even have the same accent as Viggo. Obviously I'm speaking to you now in a cheesy Russian accent now.

This is not a new post

Although I've decided to close this blog down I see there's 6 (six!) people who come here every day! Listen friends, I have no idea if you're hoping that I'll change my mind, or if you just like to re-read my old postings, or if you re-read my profile and spend hours on end wondering what I'm really like. Whatever your reasons I'm happy you like my blog enough to still come here every day... and there still won't be any new postings! It's over. I have moved on. I'm somewhere else in life now (LOL x 10). There won't be another post in a billion years. Maybe I'll see you around, maybe I won't, but in any case I hope you have a wonderful new year. Not a good one. Not a great one. A wonderful one.
Your friend
Jack J

This is the end, my beautiful friend

Alright, it's been a week since I did a proper post (or semi proper post, or whatever). And I guess I'm just not a very good blogger. In order to do a successful blog you have to post almost every day... and I'm just way too lazy! So, in the words of that ol' Nico track: 'This is the end, my beautiful friend' this is indeed the end. Thanks to everyone who followed my ramblings. I won't delete this, I much prefer the idea of 'En lejemorder ser tilbage' drifting around aimlessly in Cyberspace like an old abandoned Mir space station.
Bye.

"Jo flere broer man brænder, jo mere lugter der af røg"
Jack J, nutidig filosof.

Danish blood, Turkish heart

Today I received even more more Turkish horror flicks on DVD from Bill of Onar Films in la belle Greece. This time I got GEN which Bill describes as a 'Turkish giallo'! He says it's gory too. Woo-hoo. And I got BEYZA'NIN KADINLARI, dead policemen, a serial killer, and what have you (hopefully great fun).
Non-Turkish: Then just before ten pm I went into Block Buster and found some cheap ones: A BITTERSWEET LIFE by Kim Jee-Woon. BON COP BAD COP (aka Good Cop Bad Cop) which I bought due to the simple fact that I've always been fascinated by Canada being this one country with two cultures, English and French, and the film deals with two cops, an English Canadian and a French Canadian. HOUSE OF BLOOD by Ittenbach. I have read zilch about it but the cover promises splatter galore! And lastly THE LOST BATTALION about a battalion that got lost (ha ha) during the Great War. Could be good. But then again it could be a piece o' shit. Oh well, they were all cheap (which doesn't help much since my bank account is in the red... and it's only the bloody 8th of December, argh!!). Oh, and I forgot to buy toilet paper. Bummer.

PS: Yes, the headline is a lame take on Morrissey's 'Irish blood, English heart'.