True sons of Elvis (from Hell)

No explanation. This is the best there is.

Gritty Hong Kong

When people talk about Celestial's Shaw Brothers DVDs it's mostly the kung fu films they mention. But of course the Shaws made films in several other different genres; horror, comedies, musicals, a few slightly erotic flicks, and not least the gritty cop/crime movies. Some of them belong in the HK new wave genre of the early 80s (which I'm actually just learning about now, thanks Andras, Michael, etc).

A handful of the films Celestial put out a little while back is the THE CRIMINALS series. I must admit I've never paid much attention to this series as I was under the (obviously very deluded) impression that they were probably kinda crappy and dull. Well, someone mentioned the first film in the series on Dvdmaniacs yesterday and it sparked my interest but, uh, 'tis difficult to watch something you don't have and I don't have THE CRIMINALS 1 but I knew I had a couple of the later entries lying around somewhere and so I ended up watching THE CRIMINALS 3: ARSON - and like so often before I'm kicking myself in the head for having had something totally cool lying around for months without watching it!!

Was this gritty and brutal and didn't have any slapstick in it at all you ask? Well, yes, yes, and no!!! I was quite surprised I must admit! Flabbergasted you might add. xD

The film is made up of two separate stories and both were excellent. The main characters in the first one are two lowlife scumbags. We've seen that on film before but in Hollywood's polished version the crooks are often somehow cool and/or good, and at the end of the film they repent - or die after having done something really good. Not so in this one. The creeps are just creeps, however (again: in contradiction to Hollywood) we do get to see their human sides as well. Actually, with a little unfortunate deviation onto a side track we could easily become them. As horrible as it may sound.

A li'l deterioration in the moral judgement department maybe caused by an unfortunate social slide downhill - and we are suddenly them. We become them. Just as the mall zombies in DAWN OF THE DEAD are really us. Maybe not you or me but it happens all the time.

Since this is the only film out of this series' 5 films that I have watched obviously I can't talk about the other ones. Phantom of Pulp wrote about #5 here and he was quite exited about it, so check out his review. Episode 5 is partly directed by TF Mous who also made MEN BEHIND THE SUN and LOST SOULS and whom I wrote about here.

If you think you might like gritty and non schmaltzy film making then I can only urge you to seek out THE CRIMINALS 3. I think it's really good! The two episodes are directed by Hua Shan (who also among many other films directed Inframan, The Flying Guillotine Part II, and The Bloody Parrot) and Gwai Chi-Hung (who directed tons of other films; The Bamboo House of Dolls, The Killer Snakes, Big Brother Cheng, Hex, Bewitched, Corpse Mania, etc, etc, and not to forget: The Boxer's Omen!!! Phew, what a list of EXCELLENT films!).



By the way, did I forget to mention that the evil Chinamen at Celestial (all spawned by Dr. Fu Manchu) figured we didn't need DVDs for these films so they've only put them out on VCD (i.e. video-cd). Bummer, eh! I should point out there is a DVD for the first film but #2-5 are VCD only releases (there's also a VCD for film #1 if you need one to fit the other ones on the shelf, LOL). Anyway, forget what you've heard about the crappy VCD format and its "terrible" picture quality; Just like with video tapes VCDs come in many different shapes and forms. Some are extremely bad, i.e. pixelation hell, but actually the VCDs from Celestial are top of the crop. They are second to none, the picture quality is as good as it'll ever get on a VCD.

THE CRIMINALS 3 (and most likely the other ones too) is presented in the correct letterbox format and has easy to read English subtitles, and you can chose between Cantonese and Mandarin audio (Cantonese being the correct one and if you can't tell the difference it's the one in the left speaker). As I mentioned there's a DVD out for the first film but unfortunately it's getting difficult to find. When I looked for it online last night the only places I could find it stocked were at Sensasian.com (located in Malaysia, nice people, cheap prices) and at YesAsia.com (in HK, also nice folk and cheap too, their goods that is). You can get #2-5 from Hkflix.com (in Hawaii, top people all the way 'round). I ordered the three films I didn't have right away. I suggest you do the same, schmendrick.

The UNTERGANG of the Hong Kong film industry according to DANNY LEE

Danny Lee (who played opposite Chow Yun Fat in THE KILLER and who was also in the nasty UNTOLD STORY with Anthony Wong plus another 6 trillion cop movies in Hong Kong) talks about the downfall of the HK film industry in this interview.



Thanks to Ian F. for drawing my attention to this interview.

Sing along with your fave schlager singers, Merli, Nero & Testi

If you are into Italian genre films in any way and especially if you dig POLIZISCO films then... this is for you:

(there's about a minute of dialogue before the fun begins)


Grazie a poliziesco fan numero uno Johnny Redman di Love, Lock and Load for posting this on YouTube.

When the hell is that time machine coming? I'm all packed and ready to go

"Ahh is there ever a night when you DON'T dream about The Fall?"

I taped a radio session which THE FALL did for John Peel's show on BBC1 in the UK many yrs ago and the headline for this very post is his immediate words after the last track. I believe John ALWAYS dreamed about The Fall. :o)
For the past two days, all I've been listening to is old Peel sessions on the stereo, not from wobbly old cassette tapes mind you but from this SPIFFY CD box that contains every single session The Fall ever recorded for the Peel Show. 24 sessions over a period of 26 years. From 1978-2004. Gee!! How amazing is that!!! Well, I guess it wouldn't be if The Fall were crap but these sessions are ALL brilliant! It's difficult not to want to keep spinning these fab records over and over again. Everything sounds too bloody happy after hours and hours in the company of Mark E. Smith and his band. Haha. Someone not familiar with the band might find the box boring or way too simple (all the inner slip cases look exactly the same as the box, which by the way is printed on rough brown cardboard!) but no, this is nothing but perfected perfectionism . The Fall and Mark E. Smith in a nutshell! This is a brilliant release. You should own it.

Holy shmoly Batman - the trailer

I haven't watched this film since sometime in the 80s but I remember it as being good fun. I even taped it off TV (on Betamax). There was a shark, wasn't here? Maybe it was the one Bruno Mattei bought. :D

And trailers with footage shot exclusively for the trailer are fun!

Beware of ... VOODOO ON A SUNDAY!!!

Hard-boiled reads for hepcats

Uhh, I luuuve covers from old hard-boiled crime books from the 40s and 50s. They just shit all over any new covers. Period! Those dames, those cats, those crooks, those stiffs, THOSE DRESSES, MAN!!!

Actually, I don't read much new crime literature (altho my STAPLE DIET of present day reading is - needless to say!! - James Ellroy. That man is a "Napoleon victorious amongst his spoils, a conquering Caesar parading his troops", A G-O-D AMONG BOOK WRITERS!!! I would wanna have his babies if he'd let me!!! Okay, I'm going overboard a little here but you get my drift).

I got all these coves from this blog called Vintage Hardboiled Reads which unfortunately is now another floater in the harbour. Now, that's sad of course but at least it died in GRAND style: The cat behind it was called August West (probably not his real name) and one day he just said "Hey, I'm just popping outside, I'll be back soon" ... but he never did!!!!! Is he THE STIFF in the alley? Is he in the BIG HOUSE?? Is he on the RUN??? IS HE OFF TO BUMP SOMEBODY OFF????
:-O








(click the covers for bigger size)