Monday, February 15, 2010

Unknown blog writer scarred for life in beetle attack



So I'm watching a couple of episodes of COPS on the telly. Nice and cozy, ay. I've got my coffee and while four or five of LA's finest are sitting on some Mexican guy's head I'm working my way thru a box of dates I've saved from Christmas. Actually, that's not completely true as they wouldn't have lasted until now if they were from Xmas as I have a sweet tooth for dates. Ever since I was a kid. Every year I stock up on dates. Anyway, this year's supply was already gone when I found the last remaining stock at a local Aldi market. Why did they still have some when every other store doesn't you ask? Beats me. Maybe they'd fallen behind some boxes or the nice Turkish Aldi chicks had used them for door stops. Who knows. Anyhoo, so I'm sitting there going thru the box. The cops are having fun. "Are you using the stun-gun on him? Is he getting it?". "Yeah he is cos I'm holding him and I'm getting it too!" And, well, I think we've established by now that I'm working my way thru the box, ay. And then I look down... and stare into wild and crazy eyes of an unknown but probably very nasty and definitely UUUGLY muther of a beetle! Yes, that's what I said: A BEETLE!!! A live one. A very highly alive and moving one!!! Probably full of nasty contagious diseases too. Do beetles carry the Ebola virus? PROBABLY!!! Do beetles from date packages crawl into people's ears when they're asleep and eat chunks off their brains little by little? MOST LIKELY!!! Jesus Christ, I'm never gonna look at a pack of dates in the same casually relaxed I'm-just-gonna-stuff-mah-face-with-dis-yummy-stuff-without-looking-at-it way anymore, that's for sure. Brrrr. Nasty.

The photo may or may not be an actual photo from the scene that occurred.

9 comments:

  1. It's in the fridge. I'm having friends over for dinner on Sunday. I'll cook it for them.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Was it radioactive or something? Maybe it's grown bigger now?

    ReplyDelete
  3. I don't know but it might have been; I mean, it had survived the trip from Tunisia and had stayed in there for several months. :/

    ReplyDelete
  4. You should give it a name. John, Ringo or something like that !. Paul (No not that one !)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Haha. Yeah I guess I could have if the whole pack hadn't already gone down the toilet.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Now I know why I don't eat dates...at least this is going to be my reason from here on out. Thanks Jack cos it is a much better excuse than I simply don't like them (never tried them actually, just know I wouldn't like them...am psychic about certain foods). :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. btw, the last post was from me (Suzanne), I am too tired to deal with setting up a google account.

    ReplyDelete
  8. "Psychic about certain foods". Hmm, I seem to remember that. LOL. So good to see you here, Suzanne!!! Now that I'm thinking about it you're probably one of my (if not thee) oldest friends! We met 22 yrs ago. My gawd!!

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.