Clean cut bearded man makes lame excuses

This afternoon, and completely by chance, I discovered that old Ninja Dixon and En Lejemorder Ser Tilbage friend Patrick, author of Tales of a Bearded Movie Aficionado blog, has recently made an update.

Unfortunately, it's not to tell us he's making his long awaited return to the blog world but actually to tell us he's not making a return. Patrick's lame excuse for not making any more fun posts is a lack of money! He can't buy rare tapes and shit so obviously he can't blog. What drunken babble is this!! Hmm, come to think of it Patrick is probably a lot less drunk these days as he's (apparently) sobered up. Also, back in the day Patrick was messed up on mescaline and what-have-you shitty drugs that floated around but a couple yrs back his mum had him committed to some clinic for drug losers - or some such.

Anyhoo, to make a short story excruciatingly long Patrick is now living the life of a poor artist! Well, good luck with that, Pattie boy, I wish you the best. But I don't see why you can't blog about films and shit just because you can't afford expensive video tapes!? Collecting expensive stiff doesn't mean shit. Just write about old stuff you've got sitting on your shelf or bought cheap or taped from TV. It ain't that difficult. >_<

Terrible-terrible-terrible news about Bill Barounis!!!

Miltos in Athens posted this about our friend on Cinehound forum yesterday afternoon (Friday):

I'm affraid the news are just terrible. I tried to phone Bill but nobody picked up the phone...This afternoon my wife communicated with Julia -Bill's wife - and she told that Bill is in a clinic, in the emergencies. He is unconsious and intubated and the cancer has been spreaded around...

I don't know what to say. This is just awful. I sincerely wish Bill gets well again but it's certainly looking grimmer than grim right now. :-(

Miltos continued in his post:

No more hope? I guess there is always hope. There must be hidden somewhere.

I spend my night drinking and thinking all the adventures we had together all these years, the video huntings, the screenings, the theaters, even our dream to open a cult theater together some day...Out travels to the edge of Greece for some videos. And some talks we had about more personal matters and thoughts and feelings.

We live in an unfair and cruel world, don't we?

You can follow the thread here.

THE RAMONES - Pet Semetery

Here's a HD copy of the mighty RAMONES' theme song from PET SEMETERY. It's an uber-fun video!! So sad they're dead and gone now (both Dee Dee and Joey Ramone passed away a few years back).


PS: Gee, I want a leather jacket again!!! (and just WHEN did rock'en rollers stop wearing leather jackets??? Nowadays it's, like, bikers have a copyright/owners' right on that!) >_<

Only surviving "Vampira" episode finally screening at Attic J.

Last night I watched the only surviving episode of the original "Vampira" TV show from 1954!!! It was quite a treat finally getting to watch this show after having read about it for years and years, and after having watched Tim Burton's rendition of it in his (very good) film ED WOOD.

The very first time I saw Vampira (the character) was around 1991 when I went to the cinema and watched PLAN NINE FROM OUTER SPACE in Melbourne. And now, 15+ years later, I finally get to watch her old 1950s TV-show.

The "Vampira" episode was great, dark, cool, horrifying, and everything. In other words; as cool as Tim Burton made it out to be! I thought the DVD would only contain the show itself but actually it also contained the film which Vampira showed on that dark and chilly night: THE MYSTERY OF THE 13TH GUEST (a Monogram horror movie from 1943). I watched the whole thing and the film was all right, not the best horror movie ever, but as I'm saying it was an all right movie. But of course it was nothing compared to the joy of finally getting to watch the "Vampira" show! Even if the whole Vampira thing only lasted five minutes or so!!!

An interesting feature is they kept the original TV ads in the movie and altho I usually hate TV ads I thought this was pretty cool. By the way, I found an on-line listing of all the films Vampira presented on the show and guess what; She did actually show WHITE ZOMBIE as portrayed in ED WOOD! However, in ED WOOD we see WHITE ZOMBIE being shown on Halloween eve which is, eh, let's call it a stroke of artistic freedom on Tim Burton's part, haha. Actually it was shown in May.

The Halloween film (shown the night before Halloween '54) was actually KING OF THE ZOMBIES! Ahhh, Vampira.







The only DVD release of this sole surviving "Vampira" episode is only available from the official Vampira website. It comes in a plain black (of course!) slip case. They ship everywhere. $10 + postage. The picture quality is great.

[This is a slightly edited re-post from 2008]

From the guy who made 6 trillion movies in Hollywood and never lost a dime

Yay! Spiffy!! Yesterday, I ordered a couple of films from Roger Corman's eBay store, Roger Corman's Legendary Films. The first one is Jim Wynorski's HARD TO DIE, the trailer certainly looks very cool!




- And also ordered this one; SHAKEDOWN and I bet it received all kinds of bad reviews when it came out but to me it looks like pure fun!

Bizarre and insane English dubbed Hong Kong films the world forgot

If you dig deep enough in the Scandinavian mould you'll find old rusty Viking helmets, warped ABBA records, and... forgotten Hong Kong movies so obscure it defies any logic!!!

Wild and crazy films that must be seen to be believed. And then you even have to check if someone spiced your lemonade with secret substances and made you imagine things that weren't really happening on the TV screen in front of you! But no, they are for real alright!!

These films are dubbed into English and the only place they've probably ever been release are in the Scandinavian countries. If they've even been release in HK it was so long ago that no one remembers - and whatever copies that once were distributed were probably all soaked in petrol and torched by angry customers who rented them from video outlets!

Needless to say you can forget about DVD releases ANYWHERE!! (unless you count DVDs from shady bootleggers like VideoAsia who would use something like 3'rd generation VHS dupes for their "releases").

Check out this scene from STRIKE OF THE TORTURED ANGELS (from 1982, maybe!). It's bizarre to say the least. And before you ask... no, the Chinese girl whose skin is painted black and who is wearing an afro ISN'T playing a Chinese character who's trying to disguise as a black person, no-no, she is a Chinese actress PLAYING a black girl!!! I mean... how... what... I mean... HUH???

I've posted two clips from another of these insane & obscure HK films, SHARK OPERATION; you can watch them here. Thanks to Member-X of Cinehound forum who uploaded the clips from both movies.


PS: Some of these films are also on VHS in Holland and I wouldn't be surprised if they're also out on video in Greece.

Message from Ali Murat Guven about BILL BAROUNIS' condition

This was posted recently in the comments' section on the ONAR FILMS blog. Please notice the writer uses Bill's Greek first name Vassilis.

Click the label at the bottom to read old posts about Bill's condition.

/Jack

----------------------------------------------------------------------



Dear friends,

Greetings to all. My name is Ali Murat Guven. I'am a Turkish film critic, cine historian, have been working in an Istanbul-based newspaper and a close friend of Vassilis. To date, I helped him at the preparing period of many Onar Film DVD releases.

Now, I have a very sad news for all of you. You probably know Vassilis' brain surgery operation in last winter. After that dangerous operation, Vassilis was going to be better step by step. But, at the beginning of last august, suddenly he had a stroke at home and the right side of his body was paralyzed. For one month, he can not move his right arm and right leg.

Like you, I wondered where he is and what is the final situation of Zagor DVD's. Therefore, I called him last august. His wife Julia told all the sad story to me on the phone. I have got his home number and his wife's handy number. After first news, I called his home two more times. Also some of my journalist friends called. He is on the bed, his wife takes him to therapy in the hospital everyday. Sometimes he can speak slowly, but sometimes he can't. One time, I could speak with him.

So, you must pray for Vassilis. He is a very intelligent and good guy. His heart is like an angel. But he lived very bad things this year.
I think, this cure process will go on at least 4-6 months at the hospital. Doctors are trying to walk him again, even with a stick. It is a very difficult cure and needs too much patience.

In my telephone calls, I am trying to motivate positively his wife and him. I always say to the family members, "Everything will be all right again! Please be patient!"
Please don't forget that points:

1) VASSILIS can not buy or sell nothing now and in the near future. At least for 3-4 months...

2) He can't check and reply his e-mails, official web site and blog. PC is forbidden for him. His wife Julia knows NOTHING about his chaotic bussiness relations, agreements, selling-buying rules etc. So, he can't help you in trade.
If you sent him money for a DVD release before, you musn't think negatively and wait for a limited time. He keeps his all words and if he can move again, then he will immediately send all the former releases to your addresses.

3) And finally, "Zagor's" will/must wait -at least- till October or December. He lost too much money in the hospitals since last year. He must find money to recover his business and private life again.

He is generally at home in Athens, Greece. But, he has a daily cure at the hospital. His wife, Mrs. Julia (or Hulia) Barounis can speak English very well. If you need his wife's mobile number to send him your greetings, then send me a message first. I can inform you on the matter and send the phone numbers.

alimuratg@yahoo.com

Best regards to all,

ALI MURAT GUVEN
TURKISH JOURNALIST
ISTANBUL, TURKEY

September 5, 2011 8:46 PM


From when things were good. Bill in 2008

Return of the third rate Mennonite blog preacher

What the fuck was I thinking!! Closing the blog. How retarded! But then again I've done it 3 or 4 times in the past (if you click the "the end" label it'll take you to the very first time which, if I remember correctly, was just a few weeks after I opened the fucken blog!!!). Anyhoo, the blog world needs someone to be the fist in its face and, well, in the horror circuit the LEJEMORDER might as well be that fist. In other words this here mouldy vampire bat is flying once again (and as much under the radar as ever!). xD

Thanks to those of you of expressed frustration, sadness, and a lack of will to live due to my initial post. It warms the knuckles of my heart.




NB: I guess I should be writing this in Pennsylvania German but, uh, maybe that'd be taking the already crappy joke too far.

Everything has its time...

... and sometimes it's time to move on. It seems people are more interested in straight horror blogs these days. And that's cool. But if you are a narcissistic self-confessed pop-culture blog-preacher whose stuff mainly consists of either spewing out surreal ramblings about forgotten shit - or yourself - then maybe you should consider if it's time to take your bible and cross and move someplace else. And quite frankly ... it's time to move someplace else.

I have one more review to post in a wee bit (the Aussie zombie movie AXED) and that'll be it. Thanks for being there. It meant the world. Bye.

Another Jack J Dogme video!

I was about to apologise for this shitty home video (actually my initial headline described it as another entry to "YouTube's Shittiest Home Videos", haha) but then I thought, "Heeeey, this is perfect DOGME!! And it is!! Think about it; On-scene music! Lack of credits! Shaky camera! Mumbled dialogue! No dialogue preparation! No actual start, middle or finish! No lighting! Yep, this is a perfect Dogme home video. Lars would be so proud.